Ayiphele bo indaba yesiyezi sika 3 minutes!!
Mthokozise umuntu wakho wesifazane nisaphila emhlabeni. Uma ulalela
iziyalo zabantu abadala izinsuku zakho ziyanda ezweni kanti nezinhlanhla
ziyanda angeke akubalekele noma sekunjani umuntu wesifazane ngoba
babaleka nje benziwa inina ngokuthatha izinto ngamawala.
Ngabe sewuke wayizwa na imfihlo yemishado eyimpumelelo gukuncela isinene
salowo omthandayo! Ngakhoke mtshele akuncele nawe bese umkhotha, kepha
uqinise ngapha angakubhontshisi! Uqaphele kepha ukuthi ubhontshisi lona
ayazwela ngakho ungaqali ngawo.
Qala umfudumeze ngokumgijima umzimba wakhe wonke ngezandla, ulimi, kanye
neminwe. Imizuzu ethi ayibe yishumi. Yehlisa isandla usiyise ngase
phentini.
Yehla njalo uze ufike kuyo imbobo yentokozo. Uma uthola
ukuthi sekunomswakama osukhona, ungajahi ukubhuxeka umthondokazi wakho.
Donsa umoya ukuze onoshobishobi
(sperms)
bahlehlele emuva. Yehlisa ikhanda lakho bese umkhotha
emgqeni wephenti, lokhu kuzomenza alangazelele kakhulu (anticipation).
Mehlise iphenti kancane kancane ungajahi, ukhothe leso naleso sigaba
esivelayo ngokwehlakwalo idilozi.
Loku kuphula ukulangazelela nokwenza ukuthi amahomoni
amsondeze esimeni sokudubula (orgasm). Ngalesikhathi kumele engabe
usuyalizwa iphunga lomjuzo wemomozi. Sebenzisa umunwe ophakathi
uwuhambise emseleni uqale ngemuva
ukhuphuke njalo sengathi uyangasenkabeni kepha ungawufaki phakathi
yet!
Qhubeka udlale kanjalo kuze kuphele umzuzu noma emibili. Ngalesikhathi
mvumele adlale ngomthondokazi wakho sakushaya indlwabu. Kepha ungamnaki
ngoba kungenzeka udubule uma unaka loko akwenzayo. Lapho umjuzo sewuqala
ukuba mningi sebenzisa iminwe emibili, Yifake enkomeni sengathi uyiyisa
ngaphezulu, yigobisele ngakuwe sakuqhweba umuntu. Dlala
ngayo ufune indawo ezwakala sengathi ingumsipha. Uma
ephefumula ungathi lendawana iyaqinaqina sakuminca. Uma usuyitholile
phinda udonse umoya ngoba kusekude la kuyiwa khona.
Dlalisa iminwe kuze kuphinde kufike ezinye izikhukhula. Ungakhohlwa
ukuthi sonke lesikhathi ube umkhotha izindawo ezifana namabele, emva
kwendlebe njalo, njalo. Udebe langa phezulu selutholakele ukuthi
luxhumene nemizwa kabhontshisi ngakhoke uma uqabula, qinisa ezindebeni
hayi indaba yokukhipha ulimi kuhle kwemamba. Lapho eseqala ehayiza
ungathatheki bese ufuna ukumkhwela, Qhubeka nomsebenzi wakho. Qiniseka
ukuthi ispiti sokuqabula nokukopa awusikhuphuli (speed kills).
kushintsha kwesipiti kungamphaphamisa bese kukubuyisela
emuva Khumbula ukuthi ngalesikhathi umqondo wakhe
awusebenzi ngakho ngcini isivinini ube nesineke ukuze
uwine. Sewungaqala ukudida ubhontshisi ngolimikazi lwakho.
Kepha luthambise futhi ungasheshisi. Ngalesikhathi kumele
ngabe usedubulile okokuqala. Sekuyisikhathi sokumdubulisa okwesibili.
Shutheka lomthondokazi wakho kancane hhayi wonke. Menze ngesihloko
kahlanu bese ubhuxeke wonke kanye, uphinda phinda lokhu aze adubule.
humbula ukuthi ungayeki ukumqabula. Loku kwenza umqondo unganaki kakhulu
ngenzansi ngaleyo ndlela kawudubuli engakadubuli. Lampho umuzwa ehayiza
dima ungajahi ukuchama, akahayize aqede kuthi lapha ethi cababa,
sekukuweke uma usukhathele ungadubula kepha uma amandla esakhona qhubeka
umdubulise okwesithathu ndoda yamadoda. Loku kumele kukuthathe 45-60
minutes. iRound eyodwa! Ngeke aphinde asokole owakwakho.
Speed kills!
Dlula bedlana umfana ongenamona
Izindaba zocansi eziconsisa amathe. Iningi lazo linongiwe akusizona izigameko ezehla ngempela. Zonke ezibhalwe u-'EO' azizange zenzeke. Lapha sibala, ezika Mjijimezi, Thando, Hummer Gal/Devil, Skhumbuzo nezinye. Singakhohlwa kanjani uMdu wezimanga? Uyamkhumbula uZethu? Uthini ngoSphiwe insizwa esebenzisa ijazi lomkhwenyana? Zifundele uzizwele.
Umkhwekazi...
Ngangiyihlele kahle leparty.Akukho nokutheni ngaphandle kwe boerewors
ne stiff pap.Iwayini elinongozelayo kanye nodrink.Ngijabulele
ukuvakashelwa umkhwekazi wami ku 2 room engihlala kuwo nomfazi wami
nezingane zami ezimbili.Akamdala kakhulu umkhwekazi wami ngoba una 45
mina 30 umkami 26.
Siyiqale ibraai yethu selishonile ilanga.Inyama nakuba siyidlile kodwa
iwayini elinongozelayo liyayithatha indawo yokuqala.Umkami akaphuzi
kodwa namuhla uthathe mawala,nakhu useqala nokuhlabelela.Umkhwekazi wami
usekhululekile,akasangesabi.Sonke sesihleli endlini ekamelweni
okuyikhishi kulo.Yiyona futhi umkhwekazi azolala kuyo.Kufike isikhathi
sokuba umkhwekazi ayogeza ngiphoqeke ukuba ngiphume.
Ngingayi ekamelweni lokulala kepha ngiye phandle ngiyochama.
Ngibuye sengiyenda ngiyengibhalanse ngodonga ewindini elisekhishini.
Ngiyame ngewindi amehlo ngiwaphose ngaphakathi esikhaleni esincane
lapho okuphenyeke khona i curtain.Ngiboneni ngamehlo ami.Umkhwekazi wami
usekhumule usendishini kwazise ibathroom ayikabikho.Ugovozile uwasha
Imomozi."Awu madoda kodwa abantu bangathini uma bengangibona ngigila
lemikhuba ngipopola umkhwekazi?"Ngizibuza ngedwa.Asho alihhudle
ngendwangu yokugeza umkhwekazi wami.Imfukumfuku yezinza zikamkhwekazi
ngiyibone kahle.Cha ulayishile bo umkhwekazi wami,isibumbu esingaka!
Aphume endishini azesule ngethawula elikhulu umzimba wonke.
Ngisuke ewindini ngiyongena endlini.Umfazi wami uselele zwi
okokudakwa.Izingane zilele eduze komkhwekazi.Uyahushuzela ngende inight-dress.
Ngihlale phansi kwifloor ngithi moto iwayini.Umkhwekazi wami angene
ngomhusha we nightdress engutsheni ziye.Kuthi cwaka endlini sekusele
mina newayini.Ngithi moto bese ngisukuma ngiyocima ugesi.Inhliziyo yami
inamathele ewayinini engilishiye eduze nomkhwekazi wami.Ngibuyele lapho likhona
ngifike ngihlale phansi yize sekumnyama endlini.
Ngithi moto iwayini bese ngilala cu eduze kukamkhwekazi
wami.Ngisondele.Ngiphenye ingubo ngingene ngaphakathi.
"Ayi bo kuzothiwani ngilala nomkhwekazi engutsheni eyodwa?"ngizibuza
mina."Qhubeka ingani vele udakiwe."sekusho ingqondo yewayini.
Ulele ngecele ungifulathele umkhwekazi wami.Ngimphulule ama'hips',kuthi
nya.Ngibone ukuthi akangizwa.Kancane kancane ngenyuse umhusha we night
dress.Ngikhiphe umthondo osufile ukuqhanyelwa."Kodwa nkosiyami uma
umkhwekazi wami engavuka ababaze lemikhuba engiyenzayo ngingaba yini amahloni!"
"Suka uyothi ubudakiwe ucabanga ukuthi ubulele nomfazi
wakho."ngiphendulwa iwayini."Kodwa ihlazo elingaka!"ngisholo phansi ngaphakathi ngiphendula iwayini eselingigilisa imikhuba engingayicabangi ukuthi ngingake
ngiyenze ngelinye ilanga. Ngithi ngisacabanga kanjalo umthondo wami uthinte ezansi nesibunu somkhwekazi wami phakathi kwamathanga.Ngethuke kube sengathi buyasa
utshwala.Ngizwe sengathi iyavuleka lemilenze engibeke kuyo umthondo. Kanti
umkhwekazi wami useluzwile uphondo lukabhejane."Awu kodwa ngizoba
yini."Ngithi ngingakaligwinyi ahlehle ngezinqe umkhwekazi uye usho phakathi umthondo.
Ngizwe igolo likamkhwekazi elimanzi nelishisayo liwumunca wonke
umthondo wami uye uthi bushe wonke.Siye siqume sobabili kanyekanye
nomkhwekazi."Mmmh!"Kuqale yena ukufenda umkhwekazi.Afende
ngimlekelele.Sifendane impela.Umunwe wami ngiwukopelise ngimdlalise
umsunu ngibe ngimudla ngemuva."Mmmh awu we!"kunanela umkhwekazi."Mmmh
oooh.!"kwenanela mina ngizwa igolo likamkhwekazi limnandi.
Ngifunde kwezami ukuthi umkhwekazi lona ngenkathi ngimphenya i night
dress ubezwa futhi eqhanyelwe eselinde umthöndo womkhwenyana.Nakhu igolo
lakhe limanzi.Ngiwukhiphe kusemnandi naye ebubula.Ngimphendule ngimbhekise
phezulu.A'responde'umkhwekazi wami.Ngibe ngaphezulu yena abe
ngaphansi.Ngiwufake umthondo egolo lomkhwekazi."Awu we ..awu
we....!"Ngimbhebhe umkhwekazi.Impela ukhamba lufuze imbiza.
Ahlanganise amathanga umkhwekazi nje ngomfazi wami uma
ngimbhebha.Ngenze lokhu engiye ngikwenze uma ngibhebha umfazi wami.
Ngiwushaye emsunwini,ngiwugudle ngiye ngifike ezansi nawo.Lapho ngibhalanse
ngenyuke, bese kube sengathi ngigwabula igolo nomsunu.Lapho avele ahayize
umkhwekazi wami.
"Awu ...awu ...awu... weeeee....kumnandi mkhwenyana.....!"Vele kucace
ukuthi uyabonwa ukuthi ubhejwa yimina ayi umukhwe wami.Ngimfake ulimi
emlonyeni,anqaphaze angavumi. Impela angibikele umkhwekazi wami.
"Kumnandi...awu we...mkhwenyana uyayenza lento.Ingane yami ayilahlekanga.
Awu uyabhebhana mani! Kunini ngagcina ukuzwa ubumnandi obunje!
Ngisho umkhwe wakho ubaba walengane umedlula kude
ngokubhebhana."esho ehefuzela efenda.
Ngiwushaye umthondo.Ngizwe ekhala engibamba engiqinisa.Ngimfake ulimi
ngimuncele umkhwekazi wami.Ngimhlebele endlebeni."I love
u."''Oooh....oooh..."ngingabe ngisazi noma uvuma engikushoyo noma uzwa umthondo
Ngithathe imilenze yomkhwekazi wami ngiyibeke emahlombe.Ngingayishintshi
ipetion yokubhebha.Ngiwushaye wonke ugudle umsunu.Uma ufika ekugcineni
ngigwabule igolo nomsunu.Ngiwubeke enhla ngasesinyeni.Ngimbhebha umkhwekazi.
Akhale kakhulu."Awu kumnandi ngiyachama manje."Ngimuzwe edlikizela akhihle
esikaNandi."Ooooh ...aaaaawwwuuu..,,!."Nami ngifende ngisheshise.Ngizwe
engingakwazi ukukuchaza.Ngimnkönkoshele umkhwekazi wami."Awu mama
kumnandiiiii_..."ngisho ngichamela igolo mkhwekazi.Impela umkhwekazi
wami akangikhohlwa nanamuhla. Ngisambhebha ngisho emahhotela.Uthi ufuna
umthondo omnandi obhebha indodakazi yakhe
ne stiff pap.Iwayini elinongozelayo kanye nodrink.Ngijabulele
ukuvakashelwa umkhwekazi wami ku 2 room engihlala kuwo nomfazi wami
nezingane zami ezimbili.Akamdala kakhulu umkhwekazi wami ngoba una 45
mina 30 umkami 26.
Siyiqale ibraai yethu selishonile ilanga.Inyama nakuba siyidlile kodwa
iwayini elinongozelayo liyayithatha indawo yokuqala.Umkami akaphuzi
kodwa namuhla uthathe mawala,nakhu useqala nokuhlabelela.Umkhwekazi wami
usekhululekile,akasangesabi.Sonke sesihleli endlini ekamelweni
okuyikhishi kulo.Yiyona futhi umkhwekazi azolala kuyo.Kufike isikhathi
sokuba umkhwekazi ayogeza ngiphoqeke ukuba ngiphume.
Ngingayi ekamelweni lokulala kepha ngiye phandle ngiyochama.
Ngibuye sengiyenda ngiyengibhalanse ngodonga ewindini elisekhishini.
Ngiyame ngewindi amehlo ngiwaphose ngaphakathi esikhaleni esincane
lapho okuphenyeke khona i curtain.Ngiboneni ngamehlo ami.Umkhwekazi wami
usekhumule usendishini kwazise ibathroom ayikabikho.Ugovozile uwasha
Imomozi."Awu madoda kodwa abantu bangathini uma bengangibona ngigila
lemikhuba ngipopola umkhwekazi?"Ngizibuza ngedwa.Asho alihhudle
ngendwangu yokugeza umkhwekazi wami.Imfukumfuku yezinza zikamkhwekazi
ngiyibone kahle.Cha ulayishile bo umkhwekazi wami,isibumbu esingaka!
Aphume endishini azesule ngethawula elikhulu umzimba wonke.
Ngisuke ewindini ngiyongena endlini.Umfazi wami uselele zwi
okokudakwa.Izingane zilele eduze komkhwekazi.Uyahushuzela ngende inight-dress.
Ngihlale phansi kwifloor ngithi moto iwayini.Umkhwekazi wami angene
ngomhusha we nightdress engutsheni ziye.Kuthi cwaka endlini sekusele
mina newayini.Ngithi moto bese ngisukuma ngiyocima ugesi.Inhliziyo yami
inamathele ewayinini engilishiye eduze nomkhwekazi wami.Ngibuyele lapho likhona
ngifike ngihlale phansi yize sekumnyama endlini.
Ngithi moto iwayini bese ngilala cu eduze kukamkhwekazi
wami.Ngisondele.Ngiphenye ingubo ngingene ngaphakathi.
"Ayi bo kuzothiwani ngilala nomkhwekazi engutsheni eyodwa?"ngizibuza
mina."Qhubeka ingani vele udakiwe."sekusho ingqondo yewayini.
Ulele ngecele ungifulathele umkhwekazi wami.Ngimphulule ama'hips',kuthi
nya.Ngibone ukuthi akangizwa.Kancane kancane ngenyuse umhusha we night
dress.Ngikhiphe umthondo osufile ukuqhanyelwa."Kodwa nkosiyami uma
umkhwekazi wami engavuka ababaze lemikhuba engiyenzayo ngingaba yini amahloni!"
"Suka uyothi ubudakiwe ucabanga ukuthi ubulele nomfazi
wakho."ngiphendulwa iwayini."Kodwa ihlazo elingaka!"ngisholo phansi ngaphakathi ngiphendula iwayini eselingigilisa imikhuba engingayicabangi ukuthi ngingake
ngiyenze ngelinye ilanga. Ngithi ngisacabanga kanjalo umthondo wami uthinte ezansi nesibunu somkhwekazi wami phakathi kwamathanga.Ngethuke kube sengathi buyasa
utshwala.Ngizwe sengathi iyavuleka lemilenze engibeke kuyo umthondo. Kanti
umkhwekazi wami useluzwile uphondo lukabhejane."Awu kodwa ngizoba
yini."Ngithi ngingakaligwinyi ahlehle ngezinqe umkhwekazi uye usho phakathi umthondo.
Ngizwe igolo likamkhwekazi elimanzi nelishisayo liwumunca wonke
umthondo wami uye uthi bushe wonke.Siye siqume sobabili kanyekanye
nomkhwekazi."Mmmh!"Kuqale yena ukufenda umkhwekazi.Afende
ngimlekelele.Sifendane impela.Umunwe wami ngiwukopelise ngimdlalise
umsunu ngibe ngimudla ngemuva."Mmmh awu we!"kunanela umkhwekazi."Mmmh
oooh.!"kwenanela mina ngizwa igolo likamkhwekazi limnandi.
Ngifunde kwezami ukuthi umkhwekazi lona ngenkathi ngimphenya i night
dress ubezwa futhi eqhanyelwe eselinde umthöndo womkhwenyana.Nakhu igolo
lakhe limanzi.Ngiwukhiphe kusemnandi naye ebubula.Ngimphendule ngimbhekise
phezulu.A'responde'umkhwekazi wami.Ngibe ngaphezulu yena abe
ngaphansi.Ngiwufake umthondo egolo lomkhwekazi."Awu we ..awu
we....!"Ngimbhebhe umkhwekazi.Impela ukhamba lufuze imbiza.
Ahlanganise amathanga umkhwekazi nje ngomfazi wami uma
ngimbhebha.Ngenze lokhu engiye ngikwenze uma ngibhebha umfazi wami.
Ngiwushaye emsunwini,ngiwugudle ngiye ngifike ezansi nawo.Lapho ngibhalanse
ngenyuke, bese kube sengathi ngigwabula igolo nomsunu.Lapho avele ahayize
umkhwekazi wami.
"Awu ...awu ...awu... weeeee....kumnandi mkhwenyana.....!"Vele kucace
ukuthi uyabonwa ukuthi ubhejwa yimina ayi umukhwe wami.Ngimfake ulimi
emlonyeni,anqaphaze angavumi. Impela angibikele umkhwekazi wami.
"Kumnandi...awu we...mkhwenyana uyayenza lento.Ingane yami ayilahlekanga.
Awu uyabhebhana mani! Kunini ngagcina ukuzwa ubumnandi obunje!
Ngisho umkhwe wakho ubaba walengane umedlula kude
ngokubhebhana."esho ehefuzela efenda.
Ngiwushaye umthondo.Ngizwe ekhala engibamba engiqinisa.Ngimfake ulimi
ngimuncele umkhwekazi wami.Ngimhlebele endlebeni."I love
u."''Oooh....oooh..."ngingabe ngisazi noma uvuma engikushoyo noma uzwa umthondo
Ngithathe imilenze yomkhwekazi wami ngiyibeke emahlombe.Ngingayishintshi
ipetion yokubhebha.Ngiwushaye wonke ugudle umsunu.Uma ufika ekugcineni
ngigwabule igolo nomsunu.Ngiwubeke enhla ngasesinyeni.Ngimbhebha umkhwekazi.
Akhale kakhulu."Awu kumnandi ngiyachama manje."Ngimuzwe edlikizela akhihle
esikaNandi."Ooooh ...aaaaawwwuuu..,,!."Nami ngifende ngisheshise.Ngizwe
engingakwazi ukukuchaza.Ngimnkönkoshele umkhwekazi wami."Awu mama
kumnandiiiii_..."ngisho ngichamela igolo mkhwekazi.Impela umkhwekazi
wami akangikhohlwa nanamuhla. Ngisambhebha ngisho emahhotela.Uthi ufuna
umthondo omnandi obhebha indodakazi yakhe
The toooth brush
A small girl walks-in while her father is dressing in the bedroom.
She looks at his privates and points at his person and asks "Dad what's
that thing between your legs?" Dad replies "I don't know".
She goes to kitchen and finds her mum "Mum what is that long thing
between dad's legs?" The mum instead if explaining things to her she
replies "I don't know"
A week later when the mum was coming from work the little girl runs to
her and says "Mum you refused to tell me the name of that thing between
dad's legs. I have finally figured it out on my own. IT'S A TOOTHBRUSH".
The mum laughs then asks her "How do u know that?"
The girl explains "....when I came back from pre-school this morning I
saw the maid kneeling in front of dad, brushing her teeth with dad's
toothbrush and sure enough there was TOOTHPASTE in her mouth ".
She looks at his privates and points at his person and asks "Dad what's
that thing between your legs?" Dad replies "I don't know".
She goes to kitchen and finds her mum "Mum what is that long thing
between dad's legs?" The mum instead if explaining things to her she
replies "I don't know"
A week later when the mum was coming from work the little girl runs to
her and says "Mum you refused to tell me the name of that thing between
dad's legs. I have finally figured it out on my own. IT'S A TOOTHBRUSH".
The mum laughs then asks her "How do u know that?"
The girl explains "....when I came back from pre-school this morning I
saw the maid kneeling in front of dad, brushing her teeth with dad's
toothbrush and sure enough there was TOOTHPASTE in her mouth ".
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