Cheesboy Vs i-awthi yase Kasi.

When she walks away from you very mad
Follow her to comfort her
Mshaye, she's trying to blackmail you ukuthi ungayitholi ikuku!!

When she stares at your mouth
Kiss her
Ask her yini, uyang'halela ?!!

When she pushes you or hits you
Grab her and dont let go
Put on ur All Star's um'trape!! Aze axolise

When she's quiet
Ask her whats wrong
Mthuke ngo mawakhe, uthuliswe ubufebe!!

When she ignores you
Give her your attention
Hamba uyophuza, she will give YOU all the attention

When she pulls away
Pull her back
Tell her 'tsek, there's a lot of fish in the sea!!

When you see her at her worst
Tell her she's beautiful
Mtshele ayogeza or athole a rich Nigerian to sponsor her, awusiye uTito Mboweni

When you see her start crying
Just hold her and dont say a word
Tell her akasiye umntwana kamawakho, angazokutetemela!!!

When you see her walking
Sneak up and hug her waist from behind
Ask her ' ubuyela ebufebeni futhi neh??'

When she's scared
Protect her
Mbambe ngenkawuza and tell her inkinga ikuphi ? !!!!!

When she lays her head on your shoulder
Tilt her head up and kiss her
Ask her ' Usudakiwe yini futhi?'

When she steals your favorite hat
Let her keep it
Mshaye avuke esbhedlela. Sela ndini! Ufuna ukuyongithakatha!!

When she teases you
Tease her back and make her laugh
Be serious like a Zulu taxi driver and don't smile. Mtshele ayodlala nontanga bakhe!!

When she looks at you with doubt
reassure her, listen attentively
She thinks u r cheating. Start cheating coz when u do it she will never doubt u!!

When she says that she likes you
understand that she really does...more than you could understand
She wants money!!! Dump her quick! Isfebe!!

When she grabs at your hands
Hold her's and play with her fingers
Ufuna induku!! Mudle Boss!!

When she bumps into you
bump into her back and make her laugh
Udakiwe futhi!! Umalale' spotini, mshaye!!

When she tells you a secret
keep it safe and untold
Tell anyone who cares to listen, spread it bhuti!

When she looks at you in your eyes
dont look away until she does
Tell her!! 'Yini wena, ungibona nginama&*%#'

When she misses you
make means to see her
Uyanya, kanti wena uzobabona nini omakhwapheni?

When you break her heart
feel bad cos u know the pain never really goes away
She deserves it. ISfebe!!

When she says its over
it's over, wish her luck and move on
Mtshele uyanya, it's not over until u say it's over, or that you were tired of her anyways!!

"It is dark in here"

A woman is having an affair during the day while her husband is at
work.
Her nine-year-old son comes home unexpectedly, sees the illegal lovers
and
hides in the bedroom cupboard to watch. Then the woman's husband
unexpectedly comes home.
She hides her lover in the cupboard, not realising that her little boy
is in there already.
The little boy says: "Dark in here."
The man says: "Yes, it is."
Boy: "I have a soccerball, do you want to buy it?"
Man: "No, thanks."
Boy: "My dad's outside, I'll call him if you don't buy it!"
Man: "OK, how much?"
Boy: "R250-00."
A few weeks later it happened again and the boy and the lover were in
the cupboard together again.
Boy: "Dark in here." Man: "Yes, it is."
Boy: "I have soccer boots."
The lover, remembering the last time, asks the boy: "How much?"
The boy says:"R750-00."
The secret lover says: "Fine, I will buy them."
A few days later, the father says to the boy:
"Grab your ball and boots, let's go outside and have a game."
The boy says: "I can't, I sold them for R1000."
The father says: "That's terrible to overcharge your friends like
that..... R1000 is way more than those two things cost.
I'm going to take you to church and make you confess your sins."
They go to church and the father makes the little boy sit in the
confession booth and he closes the door.
The boy says: "Dark in here."
The priest says: "Don't start that shit again!"

Kafishane nje mfana

Saqala nje kahle saqabulana naleyangane kungajahiwe ndawo. Yangiqabula kamtoti ingane yabantu sakungikhotha ulimi nezindebe. Hhayi lendaba yokuthi umuntu akhiphele ngaphandle lonke ulimi njengentulo ibona ikokoroshe. Alufake ulimi umuntu aze agonyuluke. Emva kwalokho sakhumulana silokhu njalo simuncene. Ey, mfana isiphethe isibumbu leyangane.

Yavele yangikhumbuza I Billboard ye advert. Leya advert mfana inentombazane abavele bayishutha isibumbu. Ngasibuka mfana isibumbu ngakhumbula I Bonnet ye VW Beatle, uBafo la ezansi kimi wavele wavuka wema ngezinyawo. Ngasho ngenhliziyo ngathi:” Ngadla mina kababa!!” Kubuye pho lesosibumbu siphakathi kwanjani ukuba bomvu amathanga lawa. Very fresh mfana no scratches whatsoever.

Yehla mfana ingane yaqala ngomqala ilokhu igijima ngolimi. Yaya ezibeleni yazimunca kamtoti, yase yehla njalo ibheke enkabeni yayidlalisa ngolimi ngachazeka. Ithe isuka yehlela ezansi ngathi ukuphefumulela phezulu. Yafika ku “BAFO” mfana yathi ukumshayisa ingolela (Indlwabu) kancane, yase ingibuka ngqo emehlweni. Ngavele ngacimeza.

Yasuka lapho yamubamba mfana u’bafo” waqonda nto ebheke phezulu kwi roof yejondi yami. Yase ithi ukukhotha kancane amasende, ngavele ngathi “ AWE MAAAAA!!” Yathi dlengelele yangibuka, ngakhophoza. Yaphinda yathi ukuwathintathinta kancane ngolimi wona amazambane belu. Yase yenyuka slowly ngomthambo omkhulu ongaphansi kwenduku yami yaze yafika right on top at the tip mfana where it is most sensitive. Ay ke ayikaze ilidlale kanje ikhinqi lami ngolimi ingane wena ngiyakutshela.

Yalidlala yalidlala yase imufaka wonke mfana umthondo emlonyeni. The feeling engayizwa lapho mfana was out of this world. Ngavele ngathuka nami sengijika sengiya ngasezinqeni zayo kwazise phela mina ngingaphansi yona ingaphezulu kwami. Ngasusa okuyi G String lokhu ngakulahla lapha yasala obala impahlampahla. Ngathi ukuyidlalidlalisa ngomunwe mfana ngisacabanga whether I should really lick it. Yona lapha ibhizi iyehla iyenyuka ngomlomo ku Bafo wami. Eish ngacabanga masishane ngavele ngathatha ikhondomu ngayifaka olimini ngase ke nami ngiyakhothakhotha. Phela there is no way in hell! I was gonna lick that bare tongue.

Yo ngayizwa ivuma kancane yenanela kamtoti. Ngakhotha ngaqinisa ngehla ngenyuka mfana making sure that I cover as much surface area as possible. Hhayi nje indaba yokudayivela ubhonstini. Kumele wenze sure ukuthi you take your time and please her fully.

Hhayi ke sase siya kwi main course. Ngayivula imilenze ibe imise amadolo njengomuntu obelethayo. Ngaqale ngathi ukuyihlikihlikihla ubhontshisi ngamasende mfana. Yamubamba yona qobo lwayo uBafo yamuphise phakathi emomozini. Yavele yahayiza lapho ngayizwa ivevezela umzimba wonke, sengifenda kahle ngingajahile.

Ngiwudonse kube sengathi ngiyawukhipha, bese futhii ngiwuphisela phakathi wonke. Laphoke ngiyizwe ithi Oh my God, baby uyangihlanyisa!. Luckily ngiyakwazi ukuzibamba mina ngingasheshe ngichithe. Ngaqhubeka nje ngafenda nginganakile yona ilokhu ihayiza. Ngithe ngisuka ngangiyigxamalazela ngafaka imilenze yayo ngaphakathi, ngayiqondisa yenaba. Ngase ngiyaqhubeka Futhi nokufenda ngilele phezu kwayo. Ngifenda sengathi ngiyakhuphuka khona ngizoyikhuhla ubhontshisi.

Ngayibona ukuthi cha she is feeling me. Ngase ngiyiphendula Futhi still yanabile ngiyihlanganise imilenze yangifulathela, mina ngayigxamalezela yona ingaphakathi. Ngathi ukuphakamisa iqolo kancane. Ngawushisa futhi ngayizwa ithi” Oh yes baby please fuck me!” Phela ukuyihlanganisa imilenze kunciphisa inkomo, kwenze wena uzwakale kahle kuyo intombi. I continued ngilokhu ngiwunyomula ngiphinde ngiwujikijele. Sakwenza lokhu imizuzu ethi ayibe ishumi.

Ngithe ngisuka lapho ngayivusa ngayimisa phezu kwama telephone directories ngayincikisa obondeni (odongeni) ngayenza yadangalaza ibheke ngakimi. Ngaphinda Futhi ngayibheka kwaconsa amathe. Ngasondela ngawuphisela umthondo wavele nje wazishibilikela. Lapho sengiyithe nje nkamfu ezinqeni ngifenda sharply and ngenza sure ukuthi kusala amasende kuphela ngaphandle. Lapho ke mfana ngase ngishintsha amagiya. Ngiye ngoku increaser isivinini ngibuye ngehle. Nayo yavele yangenzela kwalula, isizisholo yona ithi: Faster, faster faster oooh oooh ohhh.

Nakhok’ Ok eeeeeasy babby” Nami ke ngenze njengaloko ifisa.Cha phela kwase kumele nami ngiqede, kwazise yona yabe isichame kathathu, three times! Ngayisusa odongeni ngayibambisa umbhede yangifulathela. Ngathi ukushaya okuyiqolo lokhu ngakushonisa phakathi. Ngayivula imilenze ngengaphandle lamadolo ami. Aw yavele yahlala obala yonke inkomo.

Ngawuphisela Futhi umthondo ngezwa kukitaza phakathi ethanjeni, ngisho nasemnkantsheni. Ngayibamba ezimbanjeni ingane yabantu ngangena ngajula. Akuphelanga isikhathi esingakanani ngezwa sekuqina obhonsi sathuthumela imizimba sobabili, kanti sesiyadedela.
Ubumnandi engabuzwa lapho lasted for a whole minute mfana. Kwathi makhathaleni yaphenduka ingane yabantu yangibamba sankonkoshelana isikhathi eside.

Ngithe sengiyolahla ikhondomu etiolet yangishaya izinqa yathi: “I never thought ukuthi you were this good”

Mfana ngabe ngiyaqhubeka kodwa ngizoma lapha ngoba ngiyazi usufile ukuqhanyelwa.

Second half,
Imbebhi

Nazi ezinye eziconsisa amathe. Zifundele uzwe Bamkhwela umama umfundisi Wabhejwa uThandi Nangu efundisa ingane ukubhebha lomisi... Unembeza Umfazi kaMadlanduna Ishende Lami Ngamphinda umiss Nguse Igolo legolide  Sengomphindela eMhlanga umiss Nguse  New Love

Indima yesifebe emindenini

* Isifebe asicucuzi, simane sikuphe nje which is what men need.

* Isifebe sihlale sishisa, the more isebenza impahlana the more
iba mnandi. Wozwa umfazi oshadile oneshende, nendoda yakhe imane
isangane nje uma ephuma kwenye indoda. Wena wake wayishayela imoto
ingakafudumali?

* Isifebe silivula lonke ikhekhe, asikuminceli, sikhalisa ngisho
ezisatshwayo izigora lezi.

* Isifebe asinamahloni, simane sizikhiphele ipipi silixhume
emlonyeni, uzwe indoda isihayiza.

* Isifebe asiphelelwa yimomozi ngoba siyakwazi ukuyisevisa.
Asiphumuli, siyazi ukuthi uma ike yaphumula iyabaleka indoda

* Isifebe siyinkinga kunkosikazi ngoba sishisa too much.

* Uma unesifebe sakho uyazi ukuthi sona sizokufikisa la umkakho
engafiki khona. Isifebe asihluphi, siyazwana nje nomfazi wakho, asibi
nenkinga yalutho, sikwazi ukumhlonipha ngisho eseduze kwaso. Sikwazi
ukuxoxa ngawe kuyena kodwa yena angazi ke ukuthi lendoda esikhuluma
ngayo uwena kanye.

* Asikhwahlani isifebe uwena ndoda ozikhiphela imali usinike
singayicelanga ngoba ubona kahle ukuthi uma ungakhiphi lutho,
sizogxuma nemomozi yaso econsisa amathe. Phela awuna say kwazise vele ngeke
wathi nkente ngoba vele siyinto kanoma ubani.

* Awusoze waphela umsebenzi wezifebe ngoba zinendima
eziyidlalayo emizini yamadoda. Indoda ethandana nesifebe ngeke uyibone
complainer. Noma ingafika kumkayo ekhala ngekhanda noma ngesilumo,
ivele ithi isaphuthuma ekhemisi, kanti izodlula esifebeni, ishayashaye bese
ibuyela ekhaya isisuthi.

* Isifebe asiyandisi ingculaza. Siyazi ukuthi kumele si condomayze ngoba
phela mkhulu umsebenzi waso la emhlabeni. Isifebe
asifani nomaqoma njalo laba ababizwa ngezikigi zokuchamela wonke
usikhotheni. Isifebe siyadunusa, sipetule, siyikhiphe yonke imomozi
siyakuzwisa wonke amacala ayo.

* Ngeke uzwe isifebe sithi "ungenza isifebe mina angenziwa
njalo, uyangiqeda phela manje". Isifebe sihlezi si ready, sishisa.

* Isifebe ukwazi ngisho ukweqa emsebenzini ufike uthathe
amabili ubuye ubuyele emsebenzini. Umfazi wakho wezinkomo umane akhuze
ibhadi nje athi awu baba ka Jabulani emini kangaka bazothini abantu?
Ungabe usazi nje ukuthi abantu bangenaphi ezindabeni zenu zasekamereni?

Umuthi wentando

Ungalinge ulokhu uthi uhamba ngomsebenzi kanti uyobonana nelinye
ishende sinedlozi lethu nathi madoda, one slimana day iyokubamba
indoda uyoswela umgodi wokucasha. Ngaphandle uma indoda yakho iwuvuma zonke
inganaki ukuthi ibuye ikulandele ukuze ibe nesure ukuthi unobani lapho uthe
uya khona nokuthi ulapho ngempela yini.

Uma uyintombazane usafuna umendo, indoda yakho uma iwu Sipho
ibize ngoSipho hhayi ngobaba ka Themba noma ngobaba. Ibize ngo honey,
lovey, sweety ngisho senishadile. Izingane azazi ukuthi ubaba uwu honey
kamama, zilibone uthando zilazi ukuthi luyini. Azazi futhi ukuthi kunento ekuthiwa yisex,
and that yenziwa abantu abafana nani abashadile hhayi izingane.

Hlala wenza ama suprises uma uwumfazi ushadile khona indoda
yakho ingeke yeswela injabulo. Uma indoda yakho iphuza, yithengele
utshwala, ukujabulele ukufika kwabangani bayo bezobuhlaba kwakho,
uhlale nabo njengoba nanenza zisathandana. Akakhangise ngawe noma
senishadile. Mqabule umkhwenyana wakho phambi kwezingane khona zizokwazi ukuthi
kuyathandwana lapha ekhaya. Nigeze nobabili ndawonye.

Izingane zikwazi ukuthi wena uyahlala nqunu nendoda yakho.
Bhushuzela ngezinqe endlini, ungalifaki iphenti, uzihlikihle endodeni
yakho, uma ubhontshisi ufutha, licele ipipi elakho wedwa, uma ungaliceli
zizolidla izifebe. Indoda yakho ikhathaze ngocansi ikhona ingeke ihambe
iyokufebela, ngoba ipipi lihlezi lisuthi. Vele ulifune emini kwabha
ipipi, uthathe izingane uziyise e Mc Donald noma emuvini bese uyabuya
uzodla ipipi imini yonke bese utshela umkhwenyana wakho alande
izingane, aziphekele, umtshele azitshele izingane ukuthi awuphathekile
kahle.

Thatha izingane uzivakashise kwagogo khona nizosala nodwa
nibhebhane nje I week end yonke, nihambe nezinkwara. Ubani owathi
azihamnjwa izinkwara uma sekushadiwe? Hambani nje niyodakwa ndawonye
njengoba nanivele nenza ningakashadi. Yini eyenza nishintshe uma
senishadile? Musani ukwenza umshado ube yi burden ukushintshe impilo
yakho ngoba zikhona izifebe zizomnika lokhu wena ongamniki kona.
Mtshele umkhwenyana wakho ukuthi uma ehamba ebuya ebusuku
ukuthi, whether he is there or not wena uzokwenza ucansi. Akazi phela
ukuthi awakho ama bhethri awakapheli and bakhona abanye abakubonayo
uma yena engekho. Mtshele ukuthi wena uyaqhanyelwa and uma uqhanyelwe
ufuna ipipi lakhe hhayi elinye but ke uma evuma ungalithola elinye nge
permission yakhe. Uma wenze njalo ke nkosikazi ngeke zilibone elidlalayo izifebe.
Ziyoze zisho ukuthi cha wayidlisa indoda yakho kanti cha daily idla
isibumbu ngomlomo nangepipi.

Mdlise ingquza ngomlomo. Uma engafuni udla ekabani? Nawe lidle ipipi ulikhothe
ulinxanxathe aze achame tsha tsha tsha.

Ungalinge uphathwe yikhanda ngesikhathi socansi. Uma wenze
njalo uthi endodeni ayihambe iyofeba, ihambe idla izifebe nomahrosha.
Ungalinge ube yiphoyisa lendoda yakho. Ikhulule, ungavuli ifone yayo,
ngoba nawe awuthandi kufundwe ama diary. Hleze ubambe I surprise azama
ukukwenzela yona. Ukhumbule ukuthi abafazi abaphethe manje, so if
kukhona o Mary o Joice no Thandekile ubokwazi ukuthi abaphathi bakhe
labo and uma umphathi emdinga kumele aye kuyena ayokwenza umsebenzi.

Zinake bo muntu wesimame. Ungalokothi ukhuluphale. Kuyagqilaza
ukubhebha isidudla, indoda iyokubalekela iyobamba izilenda. Be in
shape, work out, dress lovely ngendlela ehalisayo. Uma nihamba nobabili
emotweni, mvezele amathanga, umbambe ipipi, mkopise ingquza yakho,
mcele ame eceleni komgwaqo nibhebhane. Ungalinge umvumele abe nomkhaba.

Umkhaba usho umfazi olambayo, ofuqa indoda ngokudla anciphise ipipi
lendoda yakhe. Faka ama perfume anuka kamnandi, yenza ikhanda lakho
libukeke lilihle, uzicwecwe wenze sure ukuthi uyazihamba izinto
ezimnandi naye. Otherwise uzosho ukuthi uyasebenza kanti usezindaweni
ezimnandi. Wathenge nje amathikithi asebholeni ukuze nihambe
niyoplibuka naye. Have an interest ezintweni azithandayo naye khona
nizokwazi nokuxoxa ngazo.

Imishado yesimanje iphela ngama divosi, owakho ke, hlukaniswani
wukufa hhayi yisifebe. In short, bhebhisa indoda mfazi ndini ungayincishi
ingquza, eyayo yayikhokhela, iphakele ke yona, finish. Uma wenze kanjena,
nabasemzini bayohlezi bekuthanda ngoba indoda uyiphethe kahle.

Umathanda ukushela...

Ngina 34 futhi ngimuhle ngiyazithanda, umyeni wami uZwane una42, indoda
yamadoda, insizwa ziphelele...and uyangibhebha, ukuthi nje waganwa
yisifebe lesi esiyimina.

Maye ubufebe buyangibulala mina...ngingu-secretary and ngihlale
ngihalela lama-board members aphuma engena kanye nama shareholders
a-rich. Angifuine mali yabo, umyeni wami is wealthy, ngisuke nje ngifuna
ipipi...uma umuntu eke wazama ukungeshela ngivele ngimnyanye unomphelo.

Khona bese ngizibambe two months nginganiki muntu, yilokhu ngagcina
ngalomfana wakwaNtuli eSikhawini engamtshontshisa eflethini likaZandile.

Nakhu sekungiphindile ngipha lomfana uThulani ongumngani kamfowethu
omncane uZipho ngimupha nje dede igolo lami, igolo likaZwane, uMangethe
wami kodwa bakithi...

UZwane akekho uku-business meeting eCape Town so mina ngiziyele epartini
nabangani bami khona lapha eRichards Bay

Sikulo belu iflethi likaZandile eBay...ngiyabhejwa sterek...ngisho
uZwane uyangibhebha kodwa namhlanja he has met his match (isaphila saka
phela eyami indoda and ingibhebha ka-four ngesonto, so angilambi ukuthi
nje ubufebe buyangibulala)...

Kona ngithathe ngamawala kuJameson kade silaphaya epartini...ye-get
together nabangani bami esagcinana nabo oNgoye 13 years ago.
bekungamele
ngivumele uZandile angideshele, bekufanele ngicele yena ubarman
kucashbar...ngishaye nje ingilazi eyodwa ngezwa kuthi zwii
ikhanda...Kuthe sekudanswa, uThulani adanse eduze kwami ngigqoke
lesiketi esinomqhewu ethangeni, athi kumina ave engihalela...ngithi
mina, ngeke ulunge mfana wami, kuyongena konke namasende
phakathi...siqhubeke sizidansele, yazi ngizwe ukuthi logologo ungihlezi
le ezansi...ngiqhanyelwe ngini nje manje...ngize ngiye etoilet
ngilikhumule iphenti limanzi te ngilifake esikhwameni ngizesule
ngi-refreshe...ngivuselele nothwizo wami omncane ..ngiphindele
emdansweni...vele cha bandla ngaphiwa ngiyazijayivela nomzimba wami
uyangivumela...Ngizwe ukuthi kukhona ongibukayo ngidansa, awakhe amehlo
ayangihlaba impela...ngiqalaze ngibone uThulani ethe njo okhalweni
lwami..ngimnyiphele, ngingadlala lomfana. Omunye umqondo ubuye uthi nali
ipipi likuzingela...usuqale nini ukulesaba? Ngizwe ngiqhanyele ngempela
manje.



Ngivele ngesende i-SMS, a very daring one ngitshele uZandile (Mrs
Ngcobo) ukuthi ngicela ukusebenzisa iflethi lakhe kancane. Ok, uZandile
naye ushadile, kodwa akagangile, uyangi-understanda, kodwa does not
condone what I do. Ama-spare keys ache asehlala kumina. Umyeni wakhe
u-based eBloemfontein. Yena usebenza eMondi, kanti mina ngesebenzela
inkampani yo-engineer lapho ngingumabhalane weCEO.

But kunzima ukuthi angikhuze ngoba sobabili a year ago sake sabhejwa
abanye obhuti abasebenza eHillside...

Abe esefonile-ke uZandile.

"Kodwa oh, ubani lona osufuna ukuyomqhobozela?" ebuza.

"Awukahle Zandi, can I drive there, I need another favour?"

"Hhayi bo, angifune kukwenzela ama-favour ubani lona?"

"Ok, uThulani..." ngisholol phansi, avele agegetheke ahleke.

"ok, hamba, ngizokufica khona," asho.

Ngibhale inote encane ngiyise kuThulani, inekheli lalapho okumele
angifice khona in the next 30 minutes. Angisaqhanyelwe.

UThulani ufika ngiqeda kuthatha ishower, sekuthanda nokuthi damu egazini
ukuqhanyelwa..ungena ngiyagcoba amacosmetics kaZandile...ngimbone
esengaphakathi kanti angikhiyanga...ngisakhamisile sengathi ngibone
umbono angixhume ulimi emlonyeni ngize ngicokame. Ebe ekhumula belu..

Akekho okhulumayo...angincele amabele omabili elokhu ebrusha izinza,
ngizwe ukuthi ngiyafudumala...angilalise embhedeni angibhekise
phezulu...ekhumula naye kancane kancane waze wasala nqunu nqu. Hhayi bo
unomthondo ongaka lomuntu phela ngizolimala lapha, ngiyothi kuZwane
bekwenzekeni mina.

Aqale angidlalise umsunu iminwe yakhe yehle yenyuka lapho mina
ngiyadlikizela nje, futhi leliflethi likaZandile livele lingiqhanyelise
ngendlela eyisimanga...

Eze angimunce ubhontshisi..kade ngilokhu ngiquma kwale manje ngikhale,
"kwaze kwamnandi Thulani ungayeki..." ngiyezwa ngizochama manje, igolo
uma lishisa kanje akusekho ukuphindela emuva..

UThulani usegxamalaze phezu kwami umthondo wakhe ulengela kumina
namasende angijamele ulokhu ewugudlisa phezu kwamabele...angikhumbule
mhlazane ngidliwa yi-lecture eBhekuzulu Hall emva kwegame yebasket ball,
lapho i-lecture yamashikisha amabele ami ngomthondo ngachama
ngingakabhejwa. Nakhu kungiphinda. Awabambe amabele and sandwiched into
yakhe phakathi kwawo ngivele ngihlanye ngichame ngisathio
ngizozibamba...ubhizi akayekile ukudlalisa umsunu wami...ngithi
ngisachamile kuphinde kufike lokho..kube sengathi amaglobe
ayacisha...kanti usevele wehla wawudla ngomlomo umsunu...amadevu ache
nentshebe ayengigudla kamnandi emsunwini...imilenze uyivule yonke ithe
santu...isibumbu ngisinikele kuyena sonke...ngizwa ulimi sengathi
seluphakathi kwizindonga zegolo...lapho kuhaya khona...mina umqondo
sengathi uhambile...ezindlebeni kuthi nswiiiiiii...imisindo yezinsimbi
zonjiniyela... uthe esuka wayengiphendula engilalisa ngesisu wangikhotha
izinqe ngadlikizela ngizwa sengathi ngibanjwa ugesi...ehle nawo
umnsinsila aze akhone ididi...angngithi ngizowukhuza lomhlola
owawujwayelwe ukwenziwa uMangethe sisanda kuqomana...kodwa ngezwa
sengathi kunezambane eligcwele umlomo nje... walikhotha ididi ngasho
ngakhala.

"Thulani babyboy...sengicela ungibhebhe manje mina ngifuna umthondo
wakho ngifuna uthundele kumina..."angiphendule kancane kancane ngibheke
phezulu..athathe imilenze yami ayigaxe emahlombe
ache...sibhekane...ubuso nobuso...what a sexy man...

Aqale awugudlise umsunu engafuni ukuwufaka...ngithe ngingazelele
ngiwuzwe bhuxu phakathi ame angafendi, ngivele ngife mina lapho umzimba
ungenwe amadlingozi ngize ngizifendele just to relieve the joyful
misery...ngiyawuzwa ungene shi kusele izigaqa zamasende kuqhuma imisipha
lapha kumina..

Aqale afende...slowly nginswininiza mina ngaphansi ngi-helpless against
ipipi lakhe, mina angazi ngizochaza ngithini kulento ngibhejwa sterek
kushayana amathambo ethu...kuqhuma usuzo lwempilo oluqhamuka khona egolo
lami engilithe hleke lonke..uThulani uyalidla uke afende aze atsheke
ngibone ukuthi ufuna ukungikhipha inkani...kuwo lowo mnyama ngizwe
ukuthi kukhona ongincela amabele ami ngomlomo okungewona neze
owendoda...ngomlomo othambile...uma ngivula amehlo uZandile naye unqunu
nqu. Kuthi angithi yini kodwa sfebe uzongiphazamisa...kodwa indlela
ayengincela ngayo angazi noma uyena yini owayengichamisa noma
uThulani...ngasho ngengila nje..



"Awe mahhh...ngiyachama...awe nkosi yami....shuuuuu..."
ngidedele...angiqinise manje uThulani efenda ...kunesibuko ku-ceiling
engangimbuka kuso...engigijima ngomthondo wakhe engingena okwelunga
lebutho likaBhambatha eNgome...ngichame futhi...

Aphume uThulani engakachami...ngibone edonsa uZandile ngesandla
emphendula embhekisa lena...washaya eqhamuka ngemuva ngakubona kukhamisa
okunguZandile kuzwa ipipi lingena liphuma, mina ngisahlabe
ikhefu...ngiyahefuzela okomgodoyi wensikazi uqeda kubhejwa yichalaha
ngoFebruary...Ngiyabona uThulani wayengafuni ukungiyekela ngiphole,
ubhebha uZandile nje mina ungidlalisa umsunu omunye umunwe uphakathi
engquza...uwunyakazisa sakungikopa...siyabhejwa sinoZandile uyakhala
naye ubumayemaye sengathi ubona ingane imuka noThukela...

"Waze wangibhebha Thulani baby...waze wangi....awe ma kumnandi
babaa...kumnandi...awu...yoooo.." lapho uZandile useze wagoba umhlane
izinqa sizokhalweni lukaThulani ingquza umnike yonke, uyalibhebha igolo
lomfana usethe nje ne kumfazi womuntu isishwapha sishone sonke ezinqeni
zikaZandile...yena uThulani belu ubheke phezulu sengathi yiJuda
likhuleka...uyaquma nje nje okwengonyama ibambe inyamazane...

Nansi imfihlo zinsizwa...

Mina sengathi umqondo wawungihambela kakhulu ngoba ngaze ngazizwa
sengidlikizela futhi...kanti sengiyachama, uThulani ungiphethe bo
ngeminwe...kuthi xhafu xhafu engquza...yena usemanzi te sengathi
use-ringini yesibhakela...

Akuphendule lokhu okunguZandile akubhebhe izinyawo zakho kuzigaxe zonke
emhlane wakhe...mina angisabhejwa lapho. Ngiziduduze ngomunwe, kubuye
kwale ngishone khona...ngize ngemuva ngifike ngincele amasende
kaThulani...ngimuzwe engibamba ezibalisela "uzongithundisa Busisiwe.."
ngimyeke ngize kumy friend...ngenhloso yokumncela amabele
naye...usezongibangisa indoda impela eyifice kahle ingibhebha kamnandi
kanje...

Ngishaye isiphambano samaRoma aKhatholika qede ngiwangenele amabele
omfazi...ngiwancele..cha bandla lihle iqiniso ngahluleka...ngezwa nje
itaste ekhakhayo....ngingamane ngincele umthondo ujuza amanzi egolo
ukunamabele esinye isifebe...

Ngimbone ukuthi usekhathele uZandile...hhayi bo kanti loThulani unani
yena wase esibhebha kangaka akangachama nje...eze kumina ngimvulele
lonke nami ngifuna ukumthandela ngemilenze njengoZandile...Awujikijele
umshini wakhe futhi usesibhebhisa okomahosha manje uThulani angiyazi
mina lento kwase kunuka ingquza phu layindlini. Wangibhebha ngagezeka
igolo...uthe esuka wathatha umlenze owodwa wami wawugaxa ehlombe
walijikijela...ngaphinde ngakhala, ngifunga amaNgethe ephelele.

"Ungibhebha kakhulu wena Thulani babaa...aweeee awe malo..." ngezwa
lelogagasi liza lashaya ngezwa sengathi ngikwelinye izwe...ngase
ngigezeke inhliziyo sengingasendaba noma angachamela uZandile...washo
wahlala kuyena izithonto...

Wambhebha njengami ngaze ngamzwela...kanti uZandile lona akabuyekile
ubufebe! Siyazifanela nje! Wambhebha umfana kwaze kwa-mover iqueen lena
esilele kuyona...ngiyabona wase echama uThulani ngenkathi embhebhela
indaba yokufa nokuphila...kwaze kwaphuma ibonding lena esekhanda
likaZandile...salala ja sonke imiqondo ihambi isishiyile...singakholwa
ukuthi sesibhejwe kanjena...uMangethe ngo Ngcobo ziwadle
bebhekile...abhejwa amagolo abo abawakhonze kanjena...awu siyizifebe
sinoZandile, uhlale engitshela ngalomngani wami uThabsile
waseMaritzburg, kanti naye!

UThulani walala khona kuthina sashintshana ngaye kwaze kwakhala
iqhude...inkinga useyangishela, selimphelele-ke igolo lamahhala ngoba
uyabhayiza wazi kanhle ngishadile, angiqomani, ngiyabhebhisana kuphela!





Nazi ezinye eziconsisa amathe. Zifundele uzwe
Isibonda somthondo 3

Bamkhwela umama umfundisi

Wabhejwa uThandi

Nangu efundisa ingane ukubhebha lomisi...

Unembeza
Umfazi kaMadlanduna
Ishende Lami
Ngamphinda umiss Nguse
Ngayilahla...

Yisono lesi... Igolo legolide  Sengomphindela eMhlanga umiss Ngus Da hummer lady  New Love

Mix on the Mixit

Charmer:......... hello

Switgal:............ hey
Charmer:........... info plz
Switgal:............. 15yrs, female, Durban & wena?
Charmer:............... mmmmmh nyc, 52yrs male Durban
Switgal:................. hawu 52! cha umdala shame
Charmer:................ lol yah ngyazi kodwa ave ngibathanda o sis abancane njengawe
Switgal:.................. ushadile?
Charmer: ...................nginengane yentombazane, ikwi bedroom yayo yenza i homework nomngani wayo
Switgal: .......................pho yini uthande ingane ezincane?
Charmer:............................... ngyazithanda ngoba zi fresh futhy zinhle
Switgal:................... lol. nam ngyabathanda obaba abadala, kumele sihlangane, vele nam ngise Durban nawe use Durban
Charmer: ...................kungaba kuhle lokho, ngingakulanda noma yikuphy ngemoto kusasa
Switgal: ........................kusasa ngiya eskoleni, ngeke kulunge
Charmer: ......................ohw konje, mhlampe nge weekend ke, iskole sibalulekile
Switgal: .............sisakhuluma ngeskole sekumele ngiqhubeke ne home work yami ubaba angangibulala uma engathola ukuthi ngiku mxit!

Charmer:................ imayelana nani leyo homework, mhlampe ngingakusiza?
Switgal: ........eye Life Orientation, ngyenza no mngani wam, kumele sifunde ngezilwane ezihlala olwandle
Charmer:............ AYBO!!! ukuphy ne Durban ?
Switgal:.............. Mt Edge Comb, Silver Lakes Complex. Ubuzelani?
Charmer:............. NONDUMISO?????!!!!!!
Switgal...............: BABA??????!!!!
CHARMER:.....IS NOW OFFLINE

Mthuthuzeli the man

1. Mthuthuzeli: I divorced my wife on the very First night.

Friend: Why, so?
Mthuthuzeli: I saw the label on her panties, "Tested OK by Biharilal Group."

**********

2. Mthuthuzeli: Pal, my wife is very much scared of water.
Friend: How can you say that.
Mthuthuzeli: When I go home at noon, I always see her taking bath with the
security guard.

**********************
3. Health Test:
For drawing blood for test the Nurse rubbed, pressed and played with Mthuthuzeli's finger.
Mthuthuzeli started laughing.
Nurse: Why are you laughing?
Mthuthuzeli: My next test is for Urine.
****************************

4. Happy and Sorrow:
Husband & wife was having dinner together.
Wife: Darling, tell me something that would make me both happy & sad.
Husband: Your nipples are better than your sister's!

*********************

5. Force of Habit

Mthuthuzeli told wife on honeymoon night, here keep this $200.00 as I never
did this free to a woman, just the force of habit.

Wife returned $100.00 to Mthuthuzeli and said, I never overcharged my
customers just the force of habit.

***********************

6. Burning Evidence:
Judge: Can you please tell me the exact place where this man raped your
wife?

Mthuthuzeli quickly lifted Lali's Skirt, who was not wearing underwear & said,
"At this spot my lord at this spot."

The Lucky old Dude....

It was the mailman's last day on the job after 35 years of carrying the
mail through all kinds of weather to the same neighborhood.

When he arrived at the first house on his route he was greeted by the
whole family, who congratulated him and sent him on his way with
a big gift certificate envelope.

At the second house they presented him with a box of fine imported cigars.

The folks at the third house handed him a selection of terrific fishing
lures.

At each of the houses along his route, he was met with congratulations,
farewells, cards, and gifts of all types and values.

At the final house he was met at the door by a strikingly beautiful young
blonde in a revealing negligee.
She took him by the hand, gently led him through the door (which she
closed behind him), and led him up the stairs to the bedroom -- where they
had a most passionate liaison
afterwards, they went downstairs where she fixed him a giant breakfast:
eggs, potatoes, ham, sausage, blueberry waffles, and fresh-squeezed orange
juice.
When he was truly satisfied she poured him a cup of steaming coffee.
As she was pouring, he noticed a dollar bill sticking out from under the
cup's bottom edge.
“..All this was just too wonderful for words”, he said,”.......but what's
the dollar for?”

“Well”, she said, “last night, I told my husband that today would be your
last day ...and that we should do
Something special for you I asked him what to give you?”
He said, "....F#%K him ........give him a dollar."
She then blushed and added, “.....But the breakfast was my idea!”

Author: A worried married man osebashayile abantu...

I’M LOSING HOPE BAFWETHU!!!!

Hayi bafwethu ngeke, uthi kodwa kusahamba kahle uma kunje or must I say angboni ikhona into ezolunga in future uma kunje, or must I ask: basekhona oMama bakusasa?

Hey bafethwu, azibhejwa kanje izintombi zabantu la emnyango kuyabukiswa and it’s not even funny anymore.

Don’t get me wrong gents I am not here to clean the world, I go with the flow and you can categorise me kubantu abagangile, but recently I have been just hit by a thought yokuthi if abantu belahla kangaka…what about owakho?...or are you that type of guy who consoles himself ukuthi "it will never happen to me" or do you say "mina owami ngiyamthemba" or "owami ngamthola eyi virgin" akana exboyfriend, come on guys wake up and smell the coffee.

Mina ngididekile manje, even married women balahla like hell, they don’t even care anymore and believe me I’m talking from experience..baphelile abafazi babantu ema office especially kwa hulumeni, umfazi ufika esesula umlomo ntambama kuwena..what about owakho? (Scary)…I’m sure uyazibuza ukuthi what triggered me to write such, it’s because every weekend I see amantombazane azimisele ngokubhejwa and kuphele kanjalo..mind you..we refer to them as izigebengu, amakati,etc,…and kwamanye amajita ango Madam!!!

You find out ukuthi ulova uzolanda I cherry yakhe ntambama espani, wena kade u busy uyibhuxeka e-office, uyishayisa I doggy style or in some case uhambisa I sgebengu sakho early in the morning and usuzwa ngabantu ukuthi lomuntu uyalotsholwa…how cruel. Asikho isegebengu engake ngasibhebha esingenayo indoda e-straight, and labantu once bezwa ukuthi ushadile bavele baqhanyelwe more. Kodwa akekho o safe, married or not liyaqhuma isende, if I can count abantu esengibashayile since I got married…it’s not even funny.

Abantu abashadile once baba nezinkingana ezincane they revert back to their ex-boyfriends and tell them ngezinkinga zomshado bagcine bebhebhekile…what about owakho? Have you ever thought ukuthi njengoba ukwazi ukudla I ex yakho, owakho akadliwa yini I ex yakhe, if ungakucabangi lokho qala uvule amehlo. Ave kulula ukudla umuntu oseke wamudla before..ubala..uhlangana nomuntu owamgcina eTech kudala akunike I number, the rest is history. I feel sorry for umjita osothandweni nomuntu onengane nomunye ulova…ngoba uma wengane uyohlezi ebhejwa ubaba wengane noma bangaxabana kanjani..there will be always a soft spot.

Believe me, 80% of ladies reading this article are feeling guilty!!!! But what the heck…into engekho right imnandi. The time you are pointing a finger saying ngake ngamudla umuntu waleya bhari emine ibheke ngakuwena. One thing I have noticed recently, labosisi abanemali bama tender baphelile yi pipi, so if your girlfriend or wife is extremely successful kuma tender, bru believe me 99.5% bayamhlephula koMaspala (kodwa ke nawe uya benefiter) and or umngani wakho othize o powerfull uyamgingqa…..what about owakho?

Uke uthi uhleli nomuntu e roomin uqeda kumenza njalo kukhale icingo lakhe and she will request you to keep quite bese etshela I out yakhe ukuthi "ungabe useza ngisembhedeni already sengilele" kanti uyamxhopha....do you think wena akukaze kukwenzeke lokho kuwena (you must be a perfect somebody). Sometimes uthi ungena nje emcimbini sekukhona ofuna ukuthi uma sekuhanjwa ucela umu packager…(what the hell) intombi yomuntu njalo leyo!!! Hayi bafethu mina angisazi.

Angisaphathike kwilegenge ye long distance relationship, ababhejwa kanje abantu babantu emaflethini nasemiqashweni..uma wena ukwazi ukudla umuntu ohlala yedwa ngoba indoda yakhe ikude naye..owakho bayamyeka yini la eqashe khona ehlala yedwa, kanti yena akaqhanyelwa yini? Ngike ngasebenza makujana nami I know ukuthi izintombi nabafazi babantu benzani when away from their loved ones, bavele babe homesick, kuqhume isende.

Maybe umuntu usebhebhe kakhulu abantu babantu unintentionally and now someone has grown and you need to think outside the box and think this happening towards you. I once fucked a married woman and instead of me being excited I was so devastated by the whole ordeal. It’s time to ask yourself…what about owakho?

Yekani amadoda azicije

Abantu besifazane bahlezi bebuza ukuthi yini amadoda abe so obsessed ngosayizi bamapipi?
Umbuzo omuhle lo, ukube usuke ubuzwa umuntu onepipi.

Okufike kuxake amadoda, wukuthi the same bantu ababuza ukuthi kungani amadoda ekhathazeka ngosayizi wepipi, yibo kanye okuthi uma sebezikhininda bebojwana, ubezwe bethi : “Hhayi suka, uJoe akundoda yalutho, usho ngepipi lenyoni.”

Omunye umbuzo okhonzwe yimbokodo wukuthi kungani amadoda ekhonze kangaka izimbiza, imivusanduku nokuchatha?

Kodwa gwiqiqi uma sebehleli bodwa onkunzana uyezwa kuthiwa: "Mina lowo, ngathi ngingakafudumali nakufudumala ngamuzwa esekhefuzela ubala, uthe esuka wavele wachama. Nganyanyani lapho, ngavele ngamala same time!!"

Uma izinto zihambe kahle, kuba inqaba kayitshelwana, ubona ngezidlathi nje zivakashela izindlebe. Usisi umubone ede ewusimoyimoyi nje isinkwa sibona ibhotela.

Why indoda nendoda ilikhonze kangaka ipipi layo?
Why amdoda eqonywa abafazi abaningi?

Ipipi liyisikhali, indoda egwaza ngaso, ihlabane, ibuye inconywe, uma lilikhulu ngokwanele ukwenza umsebenzi walo ngendlela. Uma liqina ngqi lize liqhanse imithambo, kulapho kanye-ke la likhombisa khoan ukuthi yindoda nempela le hhayi indaba yokudlala, futhi ilicije kahle ngaphambi kwempi. Ngakoke
uma indoda iqonywa izintombi, isuke izicija iqinisekisa ukuthi isikhali ihlale isivivinya. Ukuze mhla kwadingeka sisebenze, ingananazi ukuhlaba enxebeni.

So, ningaphatheki kabi uma abenu abathandiweyo beqonywa. Bazicijela ukuthi uma bebuya, bahlabe kuzwakale ukuthi kudlule ingwazi la.

uMhlengza...

Hhayi bo nantu uhlanya

Wemngani wami ake ngikulandise ngodaba lwami nohlanya, Hhayi bo lwangibonda
ngomthondo nantu uhlanya bo.

Akuthi ngolwesine ntambama silungiselela ukuya emkhosini womhlanga owawuzoba
sesigodlweni Enyokeni Kwa NoNgoma. Phela mina nezintombi zangakithi
oZandile, uHlengiwe no Ntombithini sasizokhwela ibhasi, laphaya esitobhini
ephoyiseni.

Kwase kuqala ukuhwalala kunenkungu, kanti phela u Zandile no Hlengiwe
ngabezwa belokhu becula le ngaphesheya estobhini. Ngaphuma ngehlisa umhosha
ngezansi kwasekhaya, ngathi uma ngiwuwela nje, mameshana yini le ezanganeno,
Hha umuntu wesilisa, ngaleso sikhathi ngembethe ibhayi. Ngezansi isdiya vo
akukho phenti. Ngathuka ngafa uvalo, hleze angidlwengule lomuntu ozayo.

Sathi uma sizohlangana , Hhawu kanti uMhlengi, Uhlanya lwendawo. "Sawubona
Tshengisile, kusho yena. Ngivume sengikhululekile ukuthi kanti uMhlengi.
Yebo Mhlengi. Hhawu sisi ulibangisephi?

Ngiya le kwaNongoma. Ukhuluma nami nje isikhinjana sakhe sidabukile akukho
ngisho uziphu lo wodwa. Umthondo wakhe omkhulukazi uzihlalele ngaphandle.

Sisi Tshengisile ngicela ungiphe u 50c ngifuna ukthenga ugwayi. Kulungile
Mhlengi, ngigobe ngibeke phansi isikhwama, khona ngizokhipha imali
esikhwameni.

Hhawu sisi isinqe esihle kanje, nekhekhe elinje Yooo sisi!!! Usho nje
umambana ulibona lonke ngemuva njengoba ngigobile, phela lutho iphenti
kimina " suka lapha wena Mhlengi uzovaleka amehlo. Ngathi ngiyambheka,
mameshane usebhizi ushaya indlwabu omdala. Cha sisi ngiyazi ngeke wanginika
kungcono ngizijabulise ngayo indlwabu lene yami.

Hhayi bo oh kwayishaya indlwabu ukufa lokhu, lapho umthondo wakhe usuqhanse
umthambo, ugodo uqobo lwalo, wayishaya, wayishaya lapho ngimile, ingqondo
ihambile ngezwa kunyakaza ubhonshisi kushisa negazi. Ngambuka akekho
okhulumayo futhi akukho muntu oqhamukayo.

Ngathi ngithinta ikhekhe lami, ngezwa ukuthi ngimmanzi te, angikaze
ngiqhanyelwe kanje mngani. Ngathuka sengimbambile uMhlengi, naye wangibamba
ngezwa kushisa wonke umzimba, from toe to the very last piece of my hair, my
friend.

Mhlengi ngijahe ibhasi bandla ngabe.. Angibange ngisayiqeda inkulumo ngabe
sengiphansi, wahlwitha ibhayi engangilembethe ngasala ngesidiya vo. Sabuyela
eceleni, wawushaya phakathi ngawuzwa usho uthi ne wangifenda kathathu, three
times wawukhipha wathi "what is my name? ngathi Mhlengza!!! Waphinda
wawushaya ngavele ngachama oh. Wamemeza wathatha ulimu wakhotha wonke ujusi
ngangithi usuka nawo ubhonshisi. Kwangathi ngimbaselile wathi turn around
ngaphenduka ngadunusa ngabambelela esikhwameni sami. Wangifenda left, middle
and right of my cake elokhu ephinda kanjalo kanjalo. Iznqe lezi ezibambe
abuye kubengathi uyazipetula. Ohh kanjalo Mhlengza, right there Ohh!!! OOOh.

Uthe esuka wathi angilale ngibheke phezulu we oh wawukhotha ubhontshisi
kancane and tenderly kungathi umunca u ice cream Ngavele ngachama futhi.
Sisi do you want me to come now. No no no wagibela phezu kwami wangifenda
kancane, kancane efaka ulimu lwakhe ezindlebeni zami. Wabuza futhi do you
want me to come now? Oh yes mhlengza come ngithele ngivuvuzele, wawufaka
gently, wafenda slowly and faster and I was like OOOOHHHH.

Wangibamba wangiqinisa wabhongisa okwenkomo ihlantshwa nami ngakhalisa
okwesikhukhukazi sizobeka iqanda. Wachama ngezwa ngoketshezi luhamba
ngaphakathi kwami sengathi..eyi angazi oh.

Mngani angikaze ngiyizwe into enje, ukube akaguli nje uMhlengi, bengizomfaka
ubhebha mina ngedwa.Pho yisayilomu yodwa. Bheka sathi siqeda wasukisa
okwenyamazane egijima nomthondo usengaphandle kanjalo.

Ebhasini ngalala ngafa, ziyacula izintombi mina kudlala ifilimu ka Mhlengi.

Mngani wami ake sihlebe" Usuyabonga akaliboni alidlalayo ku Mhlengi.
Khonza kubo bonke.

Speed Kills...

Ayiphele bo indaba yesiyezi sika 3 minutes!!

Mthokozise umuntu wakho wesifazane nisaphila emhlabeni. Uma ulalela
iziyalo zabantu abadala izinsuku zakho ziyanda ezweni kanti nezinhlanhla
ziyanda angeke akubalekele noma sekunjani umuntu wesifazane ngoba
babaleka nje benziwa inina ngokuthatha izinto ngamawala.

Ngabe sewuke wayizwa na imfihlo yemishado eyimpumelelo gukuncela isinene
salowo omthandayo! Ngakhoke mtshele akuncele nawe bese umkhotha, kepha
uqinise ngapha angakubhontshisi! Uqaphele kepha ukuthi ubhontshisi lona
ayazwela ngakho ungaqali ngawo.

Qala umfudumeze ngokumgijima umzimba wakhe wonke ngezandla, ulimi, kanye
neminwe. Imizuzu ethi ayibe yishumi. Yehlisa isandla usiyise ngase
phentini.

Yehla njalo uze ufike kuyo imbobo yentokozo. Uma uthola
ukuthi sekunomswakama osukhona, ungajahi ukubhuxeka umthondokazi wakho.
Donsa umoya ukuze onoshobishobi
(sperms)
bahlehlele emuva. Yehlisa ikhanda lakho bese umkhotha
emgqeni wephenti, lokhu kuzomenza alangazelele kakhulu (anticipation).
Mehlise iphenti kancane kancane ungajahi, ukhothe leso naleso sigaba
esivelayo ngokwehlakwalo idilozi.

Loku kuphula ukulangazelela nokwenza ukuthi amahomoni
amsondeze esimeni sokudubula (orgasm). Ngalesikhathi kumele engabe
usuyalizwa iphunga lomjuzo wemomozi. Sebenzisa umunwe ophakathi
uwuhambise emseleni uqale ngemuva
ukhuphuke njalo sengathi uyangasenkabeni kepha ungawufaki phakathi
yet!

Qhubeka udlale kanjalo kuze kuphele umzuzu noma emibili. Ngalesikhathi
mvumele adlale ngomthondokazi wakho sakushaya indlwabu. Kepha ungamnaki
ngoba kungenzeka udubule uma unaka loko akwenzayo. Lapho umjuzo sewuqala
ukuba mningi sebenzisa iminwe emibili, Yifake enkomeni sengathi uyiyisa
ngaphezulu, yigobisele ngakuwe sakuqhweba umuntu. Dlala
ngayo ufune indawo ezwakala sengathi ingumsipha. Uma
ephefumula ungathi lendawana iyaqinaqina sakuminca. Uma usuyitholile
phinda udonse umoya ngoba kusekude la kuyiwa khona.

Dlalisa iminwe kuze kuphinde kufike ezinye izikhukhula. Ungakhohlwa
ukuthi sonke lesikhathi ube umkhotha izindawo ezifana namabele, emva
kwendlebe njalo, njalo. Udebe langa phezulu selutholakele ukuthi
luxhumene nemizwa kabhontshisi ngakhoke uma uqabula, qinisa ezindebeni
hayi indaba yokukhipha ulimi kuhle kwemamba. Lapho eseqala ehayiza
ungathatheki bese ufuna ukumkhwela, Qhubeka nomsebenzi wakho. Qiniseka
ukuthi ispiti sokuqabula nokukopa awusikhuphuli (speed kills).

kushintsha kwesipiti kungamphaphamisa bese kukubuyisela
emuva Khumbula ukuthi ngalesikhathi umqondo wakhe
awusebenzi ngakho ngcini isivinini ube nesineke ukuze
uwine. Sewungaqala ukudida ubhontshisi ngolimikazi lwakho.

Kepha luthambise futhi ungasheshisi. Ngalesikhathi kumele
ngabe usedubulile okokuqala. Sekuyisikhathi sokumdubulisa okwesibili.
Shutheka lomthondokazi wakho kancane hhayi wonke. Menze ngesihloko
kahlanu bese ubhuxeke wonke kanye, uphinda phinda lokhu aze adubule.

humbula ukuthi ungayeki ukumqabula. Loku kwenza umqondo unganaki kakhulu
ngenzansi ngaleyo ndlela kawudubuli engakadubuli. Lampho umuzwa ehayiza
dima ungajahi ukuchama, akahayize aqede kuthi lapha ethi cababa,
sekukuweke uma usukhathele ungadubula kepha uma amandla esakhona qhubeka
umdubulise okwesithathu ndoda yamadoda. Loku kumele kukuthathe 45-60
minutes. iRound eyodwa! Ngeke aphinde asokole owakwakho.

Speed kills!

Dlula bedlana umfana ongenamona

Umkhwekazi...

Ngangiyihlele kahle leparty.Akukho nokutheni ngaphandle kwe boerewors
ne stiff pap.Iwayini elinongozelayo kanye nodrink.Ngijabulele
ukuvakashelwa umkhwekazi wami ku 2 room engihlala kuwo nomfazi wami
nezingane zami ezimbili.Akamdala kakhulu umkhwekazi wami ngoba una 45
mina 30 umkami 26.

Siyiqale ibraai yethu selishonile ilanga.Inyama nakuba siyidlile kodwa
iwayini elinongozelayo liyayithatha indawo yokuqala.Umkami akaphuzi
kodwa namuhla uthathe mawala,nakhu useqala nokuhlabelela.Umkhwekazi wami
usekhululekile,akasangesabi.Sonke sesihleli endlini ekamelweni
okuyikhishi kulo.Yiyona futhi umkhwekazi azolala kuyo.Kufike isikhathi
sokuba umkhwekazi ayogeza ngiphoqeke ukuba ngiphume.

Ngingayi ekamelweni lokulala kepha ngiye phandle ngiyochama.
Ngibuye sengiyenda ngiyengibhalanse ngodonga ewindini elisekhishini.
Ngiyame ngewindi amehlo ngiwaphose ngaphakathi esikhaleni esincane
lapho okuphenyeke khona i curtain.Ngiboneni ngamehlo ami.Umkhwekazi wami
usekhumule usendishini kwazise ibathroom ayikabikho.Ugovozile uwasha
Imomozi."Awu madoda kodwa abantu bangathini uma bengangibona ngigila
lemikhuba ngipopola umkhwekazi?"Ngizibuza ngedwa.Asho alihhudle
ngendwangu yokugeza umkhwekazi wami.Imfukumfuku yezinza zikamkhwekazi
ngiyibone kahle.Cha ulayishile bo umkhwekazi wami,isibumbu esingaka!

Aphume endishini azesule ngethawula elikhulu umzimba wonke.
Ngisuke ewindini ngiyongena endlini.Umfazi wami uselele zwi
okokudakwa.Izingane zilele eduze komkhwekazi.Uyahushuzela ngende inight-dress.
Ngihlale phansi kwifloor ngithi moto iwayini.Umkhwekazi wami angene
ngomhusha we nightdress engutsheni ziye.Kuthi cwaka endlini sekusele
mina newayini.Ngithi moto bese ngisukuma ngiyocima ugesi.Inhliziyo yami
inamathele ewayinini engilishiye eduze nomkhwekazi wami.Ngibuyele lapho likhona
ngifike ngihlale phansi yize sekumnyama endlini.
Ngithi moto iwayini bese ngilala cu eduze kukamkhwekazi
wami.Ngisondele.Ngiphenye ingubo ngingene ngaphakathi.
"Ayi bo kuzothiwani ngilala nomkhwekazi engutsheni eyodwa?"ngizibuza
mina."Qhubeka ingani vele udakiwe."sekusho ingqondo yewayini.
Ulele ngecele ungifulathele umkhwekazi wami.Ngimphulule ama'hips',kuthi
nya.Ngibone ukuthi akangizwa.Kancane kancane ngenyuse umhusha we night
dress.Ngikhiphe umthondo osufile ukuqhanyelwa."Kodwa nkosiyami uma
umkhwekazi wami engavuka ababaze lemikhuba engiyenzayo ngingaba yini amahloni!"

"Suka uyothi ubudakiwe ucabanga ukuthi ubulele nomfazi
wakho."ngiphendulwa iwayini."Kodwa ihlazo elingaka!"ngisholo phansi ngaphakathi ngiphendula iwayini eselingigilisa imikhuba engingayicabangi ukuthi ngingake
ngiyenze ngelinye ilanga. Ngithi ngisacabanga kanjalo umthondo wami uthinte ezansi nesibunu somkhwekazi wami phakathi kwamathanga.Ngethuke kube sengathi buyasa
utshwala.Ngizwe sengathi iyavuleka lemilenze engibeke kuyo umthondo. Kanti
umkhwekazi wami useluzwile uphondo lukabhejane."Awu kodwa ngizoba
yini."Ngithi ngingakaligwinyi ahlehle ngezinqe umkhwekazi uye usho phakathi umthondo.

Ngizwe igolo likamkhwekazi elimanzi nelishisayo liwumunca wonke
umthondo wami uye uthi bushe wonke.Siye siqume sobabili kanyekanye
nomkhwekazi."Mmmh!"Kuqale yena ukufenda umkhwekazi.Afende
ngimlekelele.Sifendane impela.Umunwe wami ngiwukopelise ngimdlalise
umsunu ngibe ngimudla ngemuva."Mmmh awu we!"kunanela umkhwekazi."Mmmh
oooh.!"kwenanela mina ngizwa igolo likamkhwekazi limnandi.

Ngifunde kwezami ukuthi umkhwekazi lona ngenkathi ngimphenya i night
dress ubezwa futhi eqhanyelwe eselinde umthöndo womkhwenyana.Nakhu igolo
lakhe limanzi.Ngiwukhiphe kusemnandi naye ebubula.Ngimphendule ngimbhekise
phezulu.A'responde'umkhwekazi wami.Ngibe ngaphezulu yena abe
ngaphansi.Ngiwufake umthondo egolo lomkhwekazi."Awu we ..awu
we....!"Ngimbhebhe umkhwekazi.Impela ukhamba lufuze imbiza.
Ahlanganise amathanga umkhwekazi nje ngomfazi wami uma
ngimbhebha.Ngenze lokhu engiye ngikwenze uma ngibhebha umfazi wami.

Ngiwushaye emsunwini,ngiwugudle ngiye ngifike ezansi nawo.Lapho ngibhalanse
ngenyuke, bese kube sengathi ngigwabula igolo nomsunu.Lapho avele ahayize
umkhwekazi wami.

"Awu ...awu ...awu... weeeee....kumnandi mkhwenyana.....!"Vele kucace
ukuthi uyabonwa ukuthi ubhejwa yimina ayi umukhwe wami.Ngimfake ulimi
emlonyeni,anqaphaze angavumi. Impela angibikele umkhwekazi wami.
"Kumnandi...awu we...mkhwenyana uyayenza lento.Ingane yami ayilahlekanga.
Awu uyabhebhana mani! Kunini ngagcina ukuzwa ubumnandi obunje!
Ngisho umkhwe wakho ubaba walengane umedlula kude
ngokubhebhana."esho ehefuzela efenda.
Ngiwushaye umthondo.Ngizwe ekhala engibamba engiqinisa.Ngimfake ulimi
ngimuncele umkhwekazi wami.Ngimhlebele endlebeni."I love
u."''Oooh....oooh..."ngingabe ngisazi noma uvuma engikushoyo noma uzwa umthondo
Ngithathe imilenze yomkhwekazi wami ngiyibeke emahlombe.Ngingayishintshi
ipetion yokubhebha.Ngiwushaye wonke ugudle umsunu.Uma ufika ekugcineni
ngigwabule igolo nomsunu.Ngiwubeke enhla ngasesinyeni.Ngimbhebha umkhwekazi.
Akhale kakhulu."Awu kumnandi ngiyachama manje."Ngimuzwe edlikizela akhihle
esikaNandi."Ooooh ...aaaaawwwuuu..,,!."Nami ngifende ngisheshise.Ngizwe
engingakwazi ukukuchaza.Ngimnkönkoshele umkhwekazi wami."Awu mama
kumnandiiiii_..."ngisho ngichamela igolo mkhwekazi.Impela umkhwekazi
wami akangikhohlwa nanamuhla. Ngisambhebha ngisho emahhotela.Uthi ufuna
umthondo omnandi obhebha indodakazi yakhe

The toooth brush

A small girl walks-in while her father is dressing in the bedroom.

She looks at his privates and points at his person and asks "Dad what's
that thing between your legs?" Dad replies "I don't know".

She goes to kitchen and finds her mum "Mum what is that long thing
between dad's legs?" The mum instead if explaining things to her she
replies "I don't know"

A week later when the mum was coming from work the little girl runs to
her and says "Mum you refused to tell me the name of that thing between
dad's legs. I have finally figured it out on my own. IT'S A TOOTHBRUSH".

The mum laughs then asks her "How do u know that?"

The girl explains "....when I came back from pre-school this morning I
saw the maid kneeling in front of dad, brushing her teeth with dad's
toothbrush and sure enough there was TOOTHPASTE in her mouth ".

Umngani Weqiniso

Ungangibuzi ukuthi kwenzeke kanjani ukuba ngigcine ngimithiswe uThemba
kanti ngithandana noSipho.Lalela-ke uzolandiswa yimina.Kunjengoba wazi
ukuthi vele ngidumile ngokuziphatha kahle.Angithi sina
kubafana.Ngiyisibonelo uma kukhulunywa ngetshitshi,i'virgin' uqobo
lwalo.Abangane babafana nginabo futhi bangihlonipha kulokhu engiyikho.
Uma umfana engumngane wami bese engikhulumela ezothando ngimphoxa lapho
buphele ubungane.Izesheli zibuzwa kimina aze anyanye amanye
amantombazane athi ngiyazitshela.Vele kodwa khona ngiyazazi ukuthi
ngimuhle.
Yingakho ngincamela abafana ukuba babe ngabangani bami ngoba bona
abahlebi njengathi mantombazana.UThemba uyena mngani wami womfana
engimethemba kakhulu.Ngisho eklasini iminyaka emithathu besihlala
edeskini elilodwa.Senza amahomework ndawonye sivakashelana ngisho
emakhaya.Akusiyo inkinga uma ngifika kubo kaThemba engekho endlini
enkulu ngiye kwi 'backroom'alala kuyo sifike sihlale sidlale
umculo.Kufike nabangani bakhe abangabafana sihlale sixoxe noma ngasiphi
isihloko

UThemba uyena owazi zonke izimfihlo zami,ngisho zobuntombazane.Uma
nginesesheli esingiphazamisayo ngibikela yena.Uzosithembisa induku
umngani angibize ngengane yakubo yize singahlobene
nakancane.Ezihlakaniphile zithuma yena kimina ukuze zamukeleke.Uyazi
phela uThemba ngisho ngi'mensa' ungibona kahle ngimuzwe esethi,"Uyagula
namuhla mngani."Ngivele ngihleke ngithi,'Ya mngani."USipho ngithandana
naye ngiyaqala ngqa ukuba sothandweni.Futhi besivumelene ukuthi uzogcina
ubuntombi bami.

Osekungicasulile nokungilethe kumngani wami uThemba okwenziwe
uSipho."Uyazi mngani lento ingicasulile eyenziwe uSipho.Isivumelwano
sokugcina ubuntombi bami usephulile."ngimbikela."Phela uma nivumelene
ukunikana mngani kungathiwani?"ephendula."Bengingalindelanga mngani,buka
nje angikakahlanganisi ngisho u 20 years.Ubevele washintsha nje
sekuqumbe ibhulukwe lingaka."ngimchazela."Uma bewuzwa ubumnandi mngani
singathini thina?"Ngivele kuthi 'xhifi' kimina."Uyazi wenziwa ukungazi
ukuthi ubuhlungu ebengibuzwa laphaya abubekezeleleki.Futhi ngiyamangala
ukuthi abantu abaqomile bahlale bezwa leyantoLapho ubhuti wakhona
akahefuzeli khona.Uma ngikhala ngithi kubuhlungu yena uya'enjoya'akhale
athi kumnandi"Ngize ngamfuqa wayikhipha lento yakhe esengizwisile
ubuhlungu. "Ubenikwe uwena nje mngani."Vele kuthi xhifi ngithi lacu
sengihamba.Asukume uThemba angivimbe emnyango.Ngizame ukwedlula ngenkani
ame phambi kwami.Ngisondele angaqheli siye sithintane ne
ngemizimba.Amabele ami amile mpo amthinte esifubeni.Angibambe
ngemuva.Ngizwe izandla ezinemfudumalo nokungiduduza
engikudingayo.Ahlehle nami kancane aye angibeke phezu kombhede.Agaxe
ingalo yakhe ehlombe kimina ahlale eduze kwami.Akhulumele phansi
ngelipholile izwi."Ngiyaxolisa mngani bengingaqondile ukukuthukuthelisa
ngebengikukhuluma.Uyangixolela?"Nginqekuzise ikhanda ngivume.

"Ukuthi angifisi ukuphinde ngenze into engizwisa ubuhlungu."kuthì damu
umthwalo sengithole umuntu ozokungilalela."Mngani.you have to explore
and know your body.'' sekusho uThemba."Uqonde ukuthini
Themba?"esengidida nje umngani."Ngizakubonisa ngemvume yakho ukuze
wazi."ephendula."Ayi ngizo-ke ngibone mngani.Ngithi ngisadidekile
ngokushiwo uThemba afake isandla sakhe esikhaleni kwi 'blouse' athinte
amabele ami athe mpo.Adlalise izingono 'very gentle' ngeminwe.Ngizwe
kumnandi ukudlaliswa umuntu wesilisa ngalolu hlobo.Usangigaxile ngengalo
ngesinye isandla uyangidlalisa.Bese engiqaqa izinkinobho
ze'blouse'.Amabele ami asevele ama mpo ngezwa izingono sengathi
ziyaqina.

Awangenele umngani ngolimi ewamunya.Angikaze ngincelwe amabele selokhu
ngazalwa.Ngizwe umuzwa wobumnandi obusha kimina.Ngiqume,"Oooh
...Themba.'Sekuyimina omshintshisa ngamabele ngithi akancele
leli.Ungixake kodwa lomuzwa ngoba sengizwa ngifudumala.Ingquza yami
isimanzi.Futhi ngiyezwa akusiyo i'discharge'le.Ngithi ngisacabanga
ngalokhu ngizwe isandla sikaThemba singiphulula amahips
kamnandi.Asiphendul
e angidlalise amathanga ngaphakathi.Konke
kubemnandi.Usangimunya amabele.Ngiyabubula
kumnandi."Mmmh...mmmh..."Ngizwe isandla isandla somngani sesingithinta
isibumbu.Ngithi sengifuna ukuthi ayi bo avele asifake ngaphakathi
ephentini angithinte umsunu awuqhwebe kube sengathi uphuma ngaphandle
komsele wengquza.Maye babo!Kanti kumnandi kanje ukudlaliswa
umsunu.Ngivele ngikhale lapho ulimi emabeleni,isandla emsunwini.Afake
umunwe engquza bese ewugudlisa umsunu awugobise uye uthinte kwenye
indawo entofontofo ngasesinyeni.Ngikhale mina."Awu we...awu
we...mngani." 'Liyangiphazamisa".esho ehlisa iphenti lami.Ngivele ngizizwe sengathi
ngiyaphupha."Ngabe yimina lona owaziwa ngokuba i 'virgin'owehliswa
iphenti kalula kanje isethenjwa sakhe?"ngizibuza.Pho-ke lento
engiyifundiswa umngani imnandi,ayifani nale ka Sipho engihlukumezile.
Isiketi sami senyuke siveze onke amathanga."Liyangiphazamisa"esho
ekhumula ibhulukwe ne'under'.Asale nomthondo oqine ngqi
ukuqhanyelwa.Ungethuse umthondo ungikhumbuze ubuhlungu engibuzwiswe
uSipho.Ngikhonde,"Ayi ayi."Akhulumele phansi uThemba,"Angizukukwenza
lutho mngani,ngifuna uwubone uwazi umthondo womngani wakho."

Kuthi 'gidi' isibindi.Athathe isandla sami asibambise umthondo.Ngiwuzwe
ushisa.Ngiwuhlube ngiwuvule kusale ijwabu.Ngiphinde ngiwuvule ngiwuvale
umthondo womngani kaningana.Ngimuzwe ebubula,''Oooh...mngani"
Ngibuzwe buqine kakhulu ubungani bethu uma sesivezelana izimfihlo
ezinjena.Angijikise embhedeni imilenze yami ibe sembhedeni
kanyeneyakhe.Angivule amathanga naye eyakhe imilenze ayibeke embhedeni
sibhekane.Sihlale ngezinqe sisondelane.Ngiziphe isithuba sokuwubuka
umthondo nokuwudlalisa.
Angibambe ngemuva ezinqeni angisondeze.Ngizwe ukushisa komthondo
emathangeni."Ngabe uzongibhebha yini umngani?"ngizibuza."Ungangizwisi
ubuhlungu Themba."ngizincengela."Khululeka mngani."asho awuhlube
umthondo ijwabu lisale lodwa.Ijwabu alibeke emsunwini.Bese umsunu
awudlalise ngalo.Awuhlikihle awukitaze.Ngivele ngikhale ngimbambe
ngemuva.

"Awu Themba...awu mngani...kumnandi."Lapho igolo selimanzi
te.Ngiyayiqala into emnandi kanje kumnandi emsunwini kuze kudlikizele
umzimba wonke.Abuye awufake ngesihloko engquza awukhiphe awubuyisele
emsunwini ube manzi kwawona umthondo amanzi egolo.
"Ngizokukhombisa mngani ukuthi lidliwa kanjani itshitshi."kusho
uThemba.Ngiwuzwe umthondo ungena engquza.Kube'tight' lokhu okuhlangene
nobumnandi.Ingquza yami iwumunce wonke umthondo womngani,igolo
limanzi."Mmmh."siquma sobabili umthondo ushisa kamnandi egolo.Afende
umngani kuvele kubemnandi kanti bengithi ngilinde ubuhlungu.
Angiqinise ngemuva mina ngiyakhala."Awu Themba mngani waze wangizwisa
into emnandi...ye...ye...ye...aaawu."Ancike endlebeni ahlebe."Kambe yini
lokhu esikwenzayo mngani?"Ngiphendule,"Siyabhebhana mngani.Uyangibhebha
Themba."
"Asibone mngani ukuthi ubani ohlula omunye ngokufenda.1,2,3...go"Lapho
sibambane sifendane kube uwashiywa.Ngiyaqala nokufendana nomfana.Kube
mnandi lokhu okwedlulele.Ngizwe igolo likhala 'mf...mf...mf."Akhale
umngani."Awu lamnandi igolo lomngani...awu lamnandi igolo
letshitshi.Lisaphelele mngani uyiphethe ingquza."Mina lapho angisazizwa
nokuthi ngithini ubumnandi."Awu mngani kumnandi ukubhejwa,kodwa
ubungangibhebhi ngani sonke lesisikhathi.Elakho igolo ubumnandi obungaka
ngiyabuqala emhlabeni.."

Lapho sesiyakhala sobabili.Ngizwe igagasi engingalazi egolo umzimba
wonke kube sengathi ushokwe ugesi.Ngidlikizele umzimba wonke
ngilahlekelwe umqondo.Ngimnkonkoshele uThemba ngikhale wi izinyembezi
zobumnandi."Oooooooh...Kumnaaaaaaaandi!"Ngimuzwe uThemba ebhonga
okwenkomo."Nami sengiyachama mngani...Oooooooh...aaaaaaaaawuuuuu...!"
Uqine kakhulu umthondo.Kushise engquza...Ayikhona ukubhejwa
kumnandi,umthondo umnandi nesidoda sinokwakho eceleni.Ngisizwe kahle
uThemba engichamela.Sisodwa nje singikhalise.Kuvele kushise kamnandi
ngiqala pho nokuchanyelwa umfana.Ukukhala kwethu kube kukhulu kudume
indlu.Angene nezicabha umama kaThemba.Asikhiyile emnyango.Ngimbambe
ngimqinise uThemba phambi kukanina kumnandi.Uma u
thi mpiki umthondo
ukhafula isidoda sobabili sithi,"Yo mngani!Yo mngani!"Avele akhamise
umama kaThemba ngimuzwe ethi"Oh hhoo.. kanti niyabhebhana."

Umuzi Wenhlamba

UMuziwabantu esikoleni uluhlaza cwe. Uma ekhuluma nabanye abantwana usebenzisa amagama angenakubizwa na inkosi yenhlamba yodwa. Abone umistress ukuthi okungcono akathumele incwadi ekhaya echazayo ukuthi uMuziwabantu uluhlaza eskoleni and akezwa uthuka ezinye izingane njalonjalo.

Ngakusasa wafika umama kaMuziwabantu, usefingqe iziketi kuvele
namathangana ashwabene gulukudu eklasini uthisha uyafundisa athi:

'Heyi Muziwabantu uyahlanya la ekhanda zinqe zikanyokokhulu umaNzunza, yini ndaba uthuka ezinye izingane nje? Ngiyabuza ulokhu uhlahlamehlo sengathi unondindwa ebona indoda inqunu, zindlebe zikayihlo uMchitheni. Ngizokunyathela entanyeni mina ubhoshe manje phambi kwalezingane ezigcwele la eklasini uyangizwa madlebe kayihlo. Ngike ngiphinde nje ngizwe kuthiwa uke wathuka ezinye izingane, ngiyokubamba ngamasenjana lawa asethanda ukuba luhlaza ngiwashuke kuchitheke lesidojeyana esingekho. Zibunu zika anti wakho lona owabuya emzini engazalanga!

Sengiqedile ke thisha uyangazi mina angibhedelwa, angisibona omahosha lapha abahlale bebhedelwa uyise wakhe eGoli uma bencengwa ukuthi behlise iprice, mina angikuzalelanga ukuthi ulalele inhlamba engisuke ngithuka ngayo uyihlo ebusuku uma efuna ukungidla mahhala enganginikanga lutho.

Ungitshele uma eke wabuye nje wathuka inhlamba, ngoba angazi ukuthi ulibele ukuthuka inhlamba ,engasheli lezifetshana ezingangaye ezigcwele lapha, ucabanga ukuthi uzodla bani, ngoba mina ngeke ngimzwise, umadlebe kaninakhulu ozala uyise umaMthethwa'

Ubasi Omncane...

Sekuphele 5 months ngisebenza estolo sika bab'Khumalo.Ngiphatheke kahle kakhulu kanti nemali ingconywana.

Kodwa-ke ukusho nje ukuthi ngisebenzela ubab'Khumalo ngoba ngamgcina ngiqashwa. Umuntu ophethe kulestolo unkosikazi wakhe. Angazi ukuthi kwenzeka kanjani ukuth lobaba ashade nalosisi. Phela uma ngibheka nje, bashiyana ngo ten years or mo.

Futhi cha ukhona uFakazile. Phela wathi ngimbize ngegama lakhe, hhayi ngo mama.

Umhlophe usisi lo, unesmile esihlanyisayo esisho ngezifaca. Ama hairstyle uwashintsha mihla namalanga and nomzimba wakhe uyakwazi ukuwugqokisa. Uma egqokile yonke into ivele imfanele.Amadoda athenga lana,agcina esethenga nezinto angazidingi. Namhlanje-nje, ugqoke ibhayi elitight, elikala wonke umzimba. Amabele, amahips nezinqa kusobala. Mangibheka nje ufake i-gstring ngoba ulayini wephenti awubonwa ezinqeni.

Make 55% interest a month !!!

Sesivalile manje estolo sisele sobabili, sithatha istock. Phela ngiyisthenjwa layikhaya ngathi nami ngiwubasi omncane. NoFakazile uhlale esho ukuthi angamane afe kunokuthi angidedele ngishiye lana.

Siloku silanda istock esisha e-store room sisifaka kuma shelf.Ngithi ngingaphakathi,ngimuzwe ememeza e-store room. Ngethuke,ngiphuthume khona nge speed. Ngimfice ebambelele kule safe encane efika okhalweni ehlikihla idolo. Amakani edrink egingqika phansi. Kushukuthi uthe uyawathula amlimaza.
Ngingacabangile ngiphuthume kuye ngiyobheka ukuthi akalimele yini kakhulu. Ngisuse isandla sakhe ngibone ibruise ngenhla kwedolo. Ahlale phezu kwe safe ngezinqa, ngithi ukumhlikihla ngesandla.

"Kancane nje Fakazile,ngiyolanda i-ice" nami sengishiso wukutatazela,angazi ngenzani. "No,no,Spha wenza rite."Uthi uma ubuya umqondo wami ngisibone isandla sami ukuthi senzani.sisethangeni likaFaka elimhlophe, siyalibrasha. Bekungcono ngenza nginganakile, manje umqondo ubuyile. LINJANI ITHANGA LAKHONA! Limhlophe, likhulu kodwa lismooth, liyabushuzela esandleni sami. Isandla lapho sesimile,amehlo ami 4 sho asemakhulu ngathi amasaucer,ngikhungathekile.

"Yima ngikubonise kahle..."asho eziphenya ibhayi, evula amathanga. WE MA! Ngikhangwe inkihlinkihli yehlathi elimnyama. Imomozi ngathi yigquma uqobo! "Uyalithanda ikhekhe lami?"kuvele kome amathe, ngigcine ngokunqekuzisa ikhanda.

"Yazi angikaze ngikhothwe, yikhothe please..." Ngivele ngifake ubuso phakathi kwamathanga akhe abomvu,ngikhothe izinza kuqala. Ngiziqhelise ngezandla,kusale amalebe amnyama avuvuke engathi imbebevula yomlomo omnyama. Ngiwamunye bese ngifaka ulimi phakathi engquza yakhe.Ngiyikhothe madoda! Ngiyikhothe mawala ngizwe engishuka izindlebe. Ngiyimunye ngathi ngiyenza i deep kiss..
"Nginyobe Spha! Ngicelungifak'ipipi tu.."
Ngithi uma ngiphakama, sibangisane ngokuqaqa i button nozip wejean yami. Siwukhiphe sobabili umthondo,ngiwusondeze engquza. Ngiwuhlohle phakathi wonke kube ngathi iyashipha. Ngimbhanqe nodonga ngiwugxisha phakathi umthondo,ngifenda kakhulu. Lapho naye uziphonsa kuwo umthondo ngengquza."Ngihlabe...ngihlabe...ngihlabe..." lapho usho uyishukusha kimi yonke ingquza. Amalebe awugomothele umthondo, ayawukhotha ngathi udonswa amalebe esemncane. Nami ngiyamenzela ngifenda ngathi ngiyabukisa.

"Awu, kade ngagcina ukudliwa kamnandi kanje!...hawe ma..hawe Spha!...."Ngimbhebhe hard,ngimnika lonke,ngimtshutsha ngath ngfaka irocket engquza. Athi uma echama angbambe angiqinise. Sithule sinkonkoshelane ipipi nglicindezele kwi gspot,aze aqede athambe,athi uma eqeda ngimphinde ngimfuqe ngalo aze axolise. Siloku siphindelela ngimchamisa izikhawu ngize ngizwe ukuthi ngiyachama nami manje.

Ngehlise amadolo,ngibhalanse phansi ikhingqi ngiliphose kwi roof yesbumbu.Ngimshaye kwispot esisodwa ngekhinqi,ngiphindelela. Ngimfende akwequle amehlo ngathi uzoquleka. Usengbambe ngci ungiminyele phakathi kwamathanga akhe amakhulu. Ngizwe kuvevezela wonke umzima ngiqumele phezulu “eeehhhhhhhhhhhh” ngizwe ukuthi ngithulule inkihlinkihli, koba yinhlanhla engamithanga. Phela nginonyaka ngagcina ukuyobona Ntomb’lo.

Kuthi la kubuya khona umqondo ngimbone engithe njo ngamehlo agcwele uthando uFakazile. Ngivele ngibone ukuthi yikhona ngiwubasi omncane-ke manje. Sibambane sinkonkoshelane….

Kwashintsha ukudla epletini !!! 
New Love

Amankentshane...

Eyi abhokile amanketshane.Iqembu lezigebengu leli elabe lihlalise kabi
umphakathi le emakhaya ngasesikoleni lapho engifundisa khona.Phela
ngihlala e'cottage'.Njengoba uthisha omkhulu ehlala ehamba ngivame ukusala nosisi

Bongi,uMiss Nxumalo lo ovame ukungibiza ngengane.Siyazibusisa ngocansi
uma sithole ithuba.

Isiphazamiso esesiba khona uMam Skhakhane asebehlala naye
e'cottage'.Uvamise ukuhamba ngama'weekend'aye emzini wakhe.Kulokhu akahambile.Futhi noBiyela indoda kasisi uBongi ayifikanga.

Nakhu sekuqhamuka lendaba yamanketshane aqoba kwasani.Ibagulise mani
lababantu besifazane.Ilapho engabona khona ukuthi abantu besifazane akumagwala amanzi.Badala kunami uBongi una 33 umam Skhakhane una 35 mina ngina 21. Bonke vele bakhombise okukhulu ukuvevezela.Bathembele kimina. Bayangincenga ukuba ngingahambi ukuya ekhaya.Nami ngimise umsidlana phambi kwabantu besimame,ngingakweneki ukwesaba kwami amanketshane phambi kwabo. "La ayobe efike ekhaya."Ngisho ngiqamba amanga.

Kufike ukuhlwa kwansondo.Indlu yami inama'burglar guards'eyabo
ayinawo.Bafune ukuba ngizolala kweyabo."Angeke kulunge ngishiye indlu
enama'burglar'.Wozani nina."Ngisho ngigajwe ukwesaba.

Nebala sizithuthe cishe zonke izimpahla.Siqukule ngisho imibhede
imbala.Phela awayishiyi amanketshane.Omunye siweyamise odongweni.Idouble bed siyibeke

ithintane ne'single bed' yami.Akusagcwele lapha endlini yami.Isikhala
sincane ngasemnyango.Silingene ukuma.Onkabi baphethe ngisho indishi abazochamela

kuyo.Phela akube kusalokothwa kuphunywe ebusuku.Okuhlekisayo ayikho
nendawo eyanele endlini.Ochamayo akanalo isithe.Uzomane achame ame ngecele
angakwazi ngisho ukufulathela.Nami kusobala ngizobe ngiyileyongxenye.

Bafike sebezolala.Sebegqoke nama,nightie'benuka nakamnandi.Umuntu
wesifazane uma esefake i'nighty'esekhanyiswe nayilambu uvele ashintshe.Nabo
bangishintshele manje.Abasebahle khona kwala.Ba'sexy'okomhlaba.Ngaphakathi ngiyabalisa ukuthi ukuba umam Skhakhane akekho besizodlana into yomhlaba no sisi Bongi.Ubeyovele athi'Ithuba.'Bese ngimngena ngompipi.Awu manje nasi isiphazamiso engingazi ukuthi asiyanga ngani ekhaya endodeni yaso.

Nami ngizigqokele okuyisikhindi se'pyjama'engakuthenga kwa'pep'.Basahlezi phezu kombhede bayaziphophotha.Ama'nightie'abawafakile awamade.Uma ebehleli
amathanga abo asala obala.Iqale lapho indaba yokuqhanyelwa.Lokhu okuyisikhinjana kulula.Umpipi ukuphusha kalula nje.Ngibone ukuthi kuzongidalela amahloni ngingene ngaphansi kwe 'duvet' kodwa ngihlale ngezinqe.

Ingxoxo isiqalile kuyaxoxwa.Pho yini exoxwa ngabantu besifazane
ngaphandle kwamadoda.Sebekhohlwe nawukuthi ngikhona."Uyazi nje umuntu avele akuthi wanya wanya akushiye kanjalo..."kuzikhalela uBongi."We awazi ukuthi indoda ibhora kanjani uma senishadile.Ike ingaku'romance ngisho ukuku'romance'.Mina ngike ngivuke ebusuku esengiqhoqhobele uSkhakhane engikhwela.Cabanga-ke ntombi

ezongishiya khona lapho uma esechamile vele athi dalakaca ahuqe
ubuthongo.Ngenyanye kanjani!"kukhononda umam Skhakhane."Pho-kumnandi
ukupiqana nawe umanzi u'on'."Bahleke bagegetheke baze babambane ngezandla.Lapho sengifile ukuqhanyelwa.Usisi Bongi asukume ayochama.Enyuse i'nightie'kuvele lezozidikadika zamathanga nezinqe."Uyovala amehlo wengane.Ungabuki osisi bakho bechama.",esho ewukiovela.Athi esuka kulandele u'mam'Skhakhane.Awakhe amathanga amhlophe qwa,makhulu yizidikadika.Izinqe zibomvana,bese ziba mhlophe lapho kugijima khona
iphenti.Umthondo wami wehluleke ukuhlonipha.I'duvet'ebengiyemboze ngayo
ivele iphume iqhubu.Ngiwuzwe sengathi ukhipha iconsi lecene phambili.Ngizwe
ngifikelwa umchamo ophushwa ukuqhanyelwa.Ngehle masinya ngiyochama.Angifuni
bangibone ukuthi ngiqhanyelwe.Awu lokwesikhinjana kungenzele phansi.Vele kukhiphe elikhulu iqhubu.Ngizwe ngohleko baze babhansane. Ungifikisele amahloni lompipi.Ngizame ukuguqa ngibafulathelngecele kungafihleki lutho.'Ukhiphe uchame wemfana..ingani nathi sichamile phambi kwakho."Basho bansinsitheke.

Ngibone ukuthi akukho ukwenza ngokunye ngiwukhiphe.Uphume uqhashe
njengespring.Uqonde thwi bese uthi'mpiki' ungibuke emehlweni.Ngizwe
ngakho ukunsinsitheka sebebhansana bebambana nangezandla.Ngiwubambe ngezandla ngiwucindezele ngiwuqondisa endishini."Awu ulayishile wemfana ungaphezu kwakho."Babuye baluthathe uhleko.Ngizizwe nginokuphoxeka.Ngiqhubeke ngichame umchamo usuthi'hhll'uma ngiwukhipha ngenxa yokuqhanyelwa.Ngize ngisuze.Lapho sivele siphele nya isithunzi sami.Ngithi ngiyawubuyisela esikhindini ungigolozele ungafuni ukugoba.Ngiwuhlohle unjalo.Vele iqhubu lithi mpo.Ngibuyele
embhedeni esengembethe ...amahloni.Anginendaba kakhulu nosisi Bongi vele siyazana.Inkinga yami umam Skhakhane engingazi ukuthi uzoyihumusha kanjani lendaba.

"Awumsize bo Bongi nangu umfana wabantu ezofa.Yini kodwa mfana uzohalela
izinto okungesizo ezakho?Osisi bakho laba."Ngivele ngingazi ukuthi
ngizothini.Lapho sengihleli embhedeni umpipi uqhoshile.Sengathi ngingaze ngiwukhiphele ngaphandle ushaywe umoya ngoba ngiyezwa uyephuka manje."Angifuni ukushisa ingane mina.Iyazi ngingusisi wayo.Akawukhiphe ushaywe umoya."Vele ngithule.Bawumbambathe kanyekanye bobabili.'Niyangilimaza.''Ngizwa bengithinta ngendluzula.Vele bafake
izandla kanyekanye ngaphakathi.Babuye nawo.Uphume ubheke phezulu
ubabheke."Awu ongaka!Iwuthwele lengane webantu."kukhala umam beshintshana noBongi.

Bawuvule ijwabu lihlale obala.Bawubambe kanyekanye bawushayise
indlwabu."Ooo...ooo."Ngibone ukuthi kungahle kuqhume i'champagne'
isakazeke yehle ngomthondo.Ngingaba yini kodwa amahloni.Nami ngiyeke ukubambelela ngezandla embhedeni.Ngifake izandla zami phakathi kwamathanga
abo. Ash eshe avule usisi Bongi.Athi ukuwavala umam Skhakhane."Ayi bo wemfana,ngingumfazi womuntu."Ngisiphushe kunjalo.Angisazenzi.Asimpintshe ngamathanga egigitheka kodwa yena engayekanga ukudlalisa umthondo wami.Nebala ngifinyelele engquza ka'mam'Skhakhane.Ngithinte umsunu.Ngiwuqhwebe ngimuzwe ememeza.''Awu wema!"Ngiyifake iminwe ezingquza ngapha nangapha.Ngiwafice esemanzi amagolo alabosisi.Ngibabhebhe ngeminwe bona bebe bengishaya indlwabu."Uzosigcina yini wengane njengoba ususimoshile nje?"kubuza uBongi."Wemfana lempahla kaSkhakhane
oyipenapena ngeminwe?Uzoyimela yini lento oyenzayo?"Vele ngibadlalise
imisunu kanyekanye ngendlela efanayo."Yooo!"Bekhala kanyekanye.


Ngingabe ngisazi ukuthi ngizoqala ngobani ukumbhebha.Ngiyazi uzoba
nomona uBongi ngoba sike sibhebhane.Inhliziyo yami kodwa ikuSkhakhane engisafuna ukuzwa ingquza yakhe.Ngicabange mashinyane.Ngilale ngibheke phezulu basale nomthondo."Wozani."ngihebeza.Athi ukungasheshi umam Skhakhane,ngiyabona ubuye umfikele umqondo wokuthi ushadile imikhuba le ayigilayo.Angixamazele usisi Bongi ngalawomathangakazi.Awubambe umthondo awuqondise ngqo embotsheni yengquza.Ushelele kamnandi ishise ingquza umthondo uthi bushe wonke egolo.."Mmm...ooo.''kushisa kamnandi.Ngibone umam Skhakhane sengathi useba undingasithebeni.'Woza"ngimbiza ngenhla.Eze_aguqe angixamazelele ngalezozidikadika zamathanga.Igolo lakhe ngiliphenye ngeminwe kuze kuvele leyandawo ebomvana.Ngilibhebhe ngeminwe ngenzansi uBongi,"Oooh...oooh...kumnandi."


Ngilipetulule ngeminwe igolo lika mam Skhakhane kuvele leyandawo
ebomvana.Ngilikhothe ngolimi bese ngisuka ngilithi'mamfu'ligcwale
umlomo."Yooo...awu we Bongi lumnandi ulimi."kukhala umam Skhakhane
ngilimam fuza igolo."Iyabhebha lengane..."kukhala usisi Bongi sengiwushaya
umthondo'corner to corner.''Mnandi lomthondo wengane Skhakhane.Uyazi awugobi noma ungowengane ungena uqonde thwi...oh nakho-ke mfana wami.Eeeeeeee...''Angiphuthaze usisi Bongi afende mashinya aze igolo alizungezise umthondo abhale 0.Ngilimamfuze ngolimi igolo likamam Skhakhane.Naye uyakhala wi."Aaaawu wemfana waze wangizwisa
into emnandi.Kanti ulimi lumnandi kangaka.Awu uSkhakhane uyangirobha
kanti."Ngilugoqoze ulimi nomsunu.Ngiwumunce umsunu avele adazuluke akhale kakhulu."Ooooi....yo...yo...yo..."Angithi fu ngo'juice'begolo aba'sour'.Ngilimfamfathe kunjalo igolo.Ayobayobe aze acwebe izinyembezi.Ngezansi uBongi uyasikhihla.Sengimthinta lapho ngazi khona.Adazuluke"Awu wengane...awu we ma...yo,..yo...eeeeeh."Kuthi fu
ukushisa emthondweni.Ngingachami mina kodwa ngibachamise kanyekanye.

Ngiwukhiphe kusisi Bongi umanzi te ojusi begolo.Uqondile thwi.Ngithathe
ithawula ngizesule umjuluko.Ngesule nomthondo.Usisi Bongi usethe dalakaca
kwi'double bed'.Ulokhu ebalisile."Awu wangibhebha ngane...awu wangibhebha
ngane...Ingabe wanginikwa ubani?"Ngisho indoda yami ayingibhebhi kanje."Ngidonse uMam Skhakhane ngemilenze njengoba ehleli thwi embhedeni.Ngiwaqhekeze lawomathanga amhlophe.Ingquza kamam ithi qheke.Ngiwushaye phakathi umthondo.Sifendane zisuka. "Yo...yo.,yo...wamnandi umthondo...awu waze wamnandi
wemfana."Kube ubuphaxaphaxa sengilidla impela igolo.Ngilikhiphe zisuka ikhono lokubhebha.Ngimgijime ngomthondo onke amakhona egolo.Ngithi msunu
angibambe ngqi.'A..a,a...aaaaaawu wema...kwaze kwamnandi...ngiyabonga mfana wami...wangibhebha baba...wangibhebha sithandwa sami."

Ngimsantuzise lawomathangakazi'.Imilenze ngiyibeke emahlombe.Ngethuke
usisi Bongi esengemuva kwami.Ungicindezela ezinqeni uma ngiwufaka.Ngiwushaye uthi ngci ekugcineni kwengquza kamam."Awu wangibhebha mfana wami...wangibhebha mntakwethu."Kusho isililo ngimbelesele ngomthondo."Iyabhebha lengane.Nami ngisinda kuyo." Ash o uBongi nami sengiyaquma limnandi phela leligolo."Awu wema ubungangitsheli ngani Bongi ukuthi kukhona ipipi elimnandi kanje...awu we..."Ngifende njengomshini kwande isililo endlini."Uma seniqedile ukubhebhana uze lapha uzongibhebha futhi."Athi eqeda kukhuluma kudume izihlonono kithi nomam
sesigonöfelana sichamelana."Weeeeeeeee"

Ngiwukhiphe uMam athi dalakaca.Azesule ...izinyembezi."Uyazi Bongi angikaze ngidliwe kanje ngize ngikhale izinyembezi zobumnandi.Nokwenza ngikhwelwa ngaphandle komshado!Into engingaze ngingayenza."Ngizesulele umthondo ngingaphenduli."Ngikutshelile ngathi iyabhebha lengane.Woza ngane nali igolo losisi bakho. Ash o ayithi qheke ingquza.Ngiwubambe umthondo.Ngiwuzwe uqina sisondelane.Ngiwufake egolo sibhebhane.

Ngababhebha labosisi kwaze kwasa beshintshana ngami.I'round' ne'round'ngenze 'sure'ukuthi bayachama.Ngasengifakwe phakathi nendawo.Ekuseni nganikwa elingasukumi phansi i'breakfast'Ingaleyonkathi okwezwakala ngayo ukuthi aseboshiwe onke amanketshane.'

Izivakashi

Zase zithelekile izivakashi zami ngingalindele. Umzala uThoko atheleke namantombazane amabili ku 2 room wami. Awathule nami angethule. Iyaqalana angiwazi. UThandi noHlengi. Abike ukujaha umzala athi uzobuya. Azifunele ukudla ngibakhombe efrijini namabhodwe. Bapheke kudliwe athi uyabuya acele uHlengi amphelekezele. Athi kuThandi uzobuya masinya.

Sisheshe sijwayelane noThandi. Sixoxe okuningi ngize ngiqale ngimeshele. Angichithekalula. "Angithandi ukuba sothandweni ngoba luyahlukumezana." Ngimncenge "Angeke ngize ngikuhlukumeze" Angiphendule. "Mina ngiyazifebela. manje uzokhubeka."

Ngilizwe leli lesifebe lingimangaze ngingabe ngisazi ukuthi kumele ngithini. Ngiba sathe ngiyalibeka igama angichithe ngokuthi angeke ngilunge. Akusho lokhu kuze kuyohlwa silokhu seshelana. Useyabalisa ngoThoko noHlengi. Sekufike isikhathi sokuyolala. Ngimqhelele ageze ngimkhombe embhedeni. Uwodwa umbhede lapha endlini.

Akana'choice kumele alale kuwo.Usegqoke inighty emfusha. Kufishanyana okunguThandi, amathanga akhe abushelelezi avele kamnandi. Ayangiqhanyelisa bo. Umthondo wami usuqumbile. Indaba engingazi ukuthi ngizayithini lena. Ulaliswa kanjani umthondo uma usuvukwe amadlingozi.

Ngiyawabona lamathanga angiqhanyelisayo kowa asivumelene noThandi. Angabi nankinga yokungena embhedeni. Nami ngimlandele masinya nginele ngingangena embhedeni angifulathele. "Impela uThoko noHlengi bangidayisile", ebalisa uThandi. Ngimncenge ngibe ngimeshela. Ngifake izandla zami zimzungeze.

Ngimpotoze amabele ngidlalise izingono. Athule isikhathi esidana. Ngithi ngiyamphuthaza ngezansi athi 'wenzani?'' Ngimncenge. "Awu Thandi sengingaze ngife bo ukhona?" Avele ahleke uhleko olunokubhuqa. "Hee ukuthi ngithe kuwe ngiyafeba akusho ukuthi kumele ungithathe lula."

Ngicabange ukuthi mhlawumbe ufuna imali. Kodwa njengoba sengiqhanyelwe kangaka sengingakhokha noma malini "Malini oyifunayo?" Avele aphebeze izandla zami ngokucasuka. "Yingoba uzwe ngithi ngiyafeba. Angisiye umahosha. Angidayisi ngomzimba."

Lingime emphinjeni lelogama. "Ngiyaxolisa." Sengidliwa amahloni. "Ok, susa izandla zakho kimina. Ukuba nginendawo yokulala ngabe ngiziyele khona" Vele ngisuse izandla zami.

Manje inkinga yami njengoba engifulathele uThandi uthe ne kimina. Lapho umthondo wami ulokhu umqhubulusha. Manje sengiwukhiphe nangaphandle uwuzwa kahle. Kwale kimina ngimbambe ama'hips' isandla ngisikopelise amathanga. Ngifice ewahlanganise thaqa. Nokho ngisifake isandla senyuke sifike sibhajwe uma sengithi ngisifaka esibunjini. "Wenzani?" asho enxapha.

Ngibone ukuthi uzokuthi ngiyamdlwengula lomuntu. "Ngiyakuthanda Thandi." Kube sengathi lelo limnika ukwehlisa ulaka. Ngiyabona manje sekuphele ama'hour' amaningi ngincengana noThandi umthondo ume mpo.

"Asivumelene nje mina nawe?" ephendula. "Ok, ngicela uvume please sithandane." ngizincengela. "Awuzukukhala uma sengikufebela?" Impendulo ngibe nayo ngokushesha. "Cha cha cha ngeke ngize ngibe nayo nakancane."

Athi ''ok ngoba kade ulokhu ungibelesele ngizokunika lento oyifunayo kodwa ungakhali." Asho aphakamise umlenze ahlehle ngezinqe umthondo wami uvele uziyele uthi bushe egolo. Kube ubufequfequ sifendana ngimudla ngemuva. Limnandi igolo uma usuliqhanyelelwe kakhulu. Lisuke lifune ukushesha likuchamise. Ngiwufaka ngizwe ukuthi ngingahle ngilithundele igolo kungakabiphi. Awu phela sekungaba ihlazo kuThandi ukuwa komthondo. Angahamba ekhuluma ngami kuwo onke amantombazane ethi angikwazi ukubhebha. Ngingaphinde ngithole engizombhebha.

Ngithi ngiwufaka ngibe ngithe ngci umthambo ongaphansi ogijima isidoda osuka emasendeni.

Ngisuke lapho ngizicabangele umdlalo we Chiefs ne Pirates ngisuse i'concetration' yami kulembhebho. Nebala umthondo ngiwuzwe wehlelwa ilukuluku lokuchama. Ngiqhubeke lapho ngibhebhe. Ngimuzwe lapho noThandi efenda eqinisa engifulathele. Esinye isandla sami ngisikopelise ngale kwamahips siye sibambe isibumbu. Ngifake umunwe emseleni wezindebe zegolo. Ngihlikihle umsunu ngomunwe umthondo ube ungena uphuma ngemuva egolo. "Aaaaaaah yes...oh yes." Ngimuzwe ehefuzelela phezulu uThandi. Nami ngibone ukuthi ngimbhebha kahle uThandi lo.

Ngikwenze lokhu isikhathi ngisamngene ngecele. Useyananela manje uThandi. "Oooh...oooh...oooh yes!" Ngizwe sengathi kukhona lapho ngingafinyeleli khona njengoba ngilele ngecele.

Ngiwubhoncule. Ngimsukumise. Ngimfulathelise agobe ngimbambise umbhede. Ngiwufake futhi umthondo. Ngimbambe amahips ngifende. Ahlehle ngezinqe naye ngibhalanse nami ngifende ngiqinise. "Oooh...oooh...oooh! Ngimuthi paklu ezinqeni ngempama kube sengathi ngiyambanga. "Oooh...yes uyangidla kamnandi ani... that is it...mmmh!" Nami ngifende impela, "Awu kumnandi,..kodwa ubuwenqabelani nengquza into emnandi kangaka?" ngibuza sengimkotele kuhle okwenja ikotele u'dustbin'(isaqhubeka)
Phela uThandi lo mfishane kunami. Manje uma ngimbhebha ngikotele kuye njengenja ikotele ... ... u'dustbin' vele abe mfushane. Ngibone ukuthi ayikho lento. Ngimbambe ngqi kuma'hips' mina ngime ngiqonde.Vele aphakame alenge ngezinyawo emoyeni. Mina ngime ngiqonde .

Ngisawushaye kanjalo umthondo ngimngene ngemuva uThandi omfishane kunami. Uyalenga kuhle okwesimaku siphingwa ichalaha. Akasathinti ngezinyawo phansi. Ubambelele ngezandla embhedeni. "Oooh...aaawu...eeee...hl...hl...hl..." kukhala uThandi ngiwushaya umthondo. Nami bese kungibulele ukuqhanyelwa. Ngisizwe yikho ukuthi agcine evumile negolo uThandi ngalibhebha.

Impela ngiyalibhebha igolo. Ithi ingquza isemnandi injalo ngiyibhebha ngizwe, "Qo!Qo!Qo!" Ngizwe kahle ukuthi umzala nomngani wakhe uHlengi. Sebeyabuya beze ku 2room wami. Indlakadla asebenayo uma bengqongqoza iyangitshela ukuthi abasebodwa sekukhona abakuthintile. Manje ngizothini ngoba bengithi ngizobhebha ngize ngichame.

Njengoba ingquza isemnandi kanje kufanele ngenzenjani? Pho-ke umuntu yini umzala! Selokhu engibelesele. "Vula mani!" Ngiyamazi uma eseke wathola ezibheke eceleni, akabe esalawuleka. Nalokhu okuyintombazane okuhamba naye kuyisiwengu. Angazi kungijwayelephi ngoba kuyaqala ukungibona. Ngiyakuzwa nakho kuthi, Vula mani nilibele ukubhebhana singabhejiwe thina."

Ngibone ukuthi omakhelwane bami bazovuka bezwe lensambatheka yokuthi mina ngimatasa ngiyabhebhana ngapha ku '2 room' wami. Ngivele ngingananazi ngiwuthi 'mboncu' umthondo egolo.Ngibone okunguThandi kugoqana kuba inkatha amadolo aye athinte amabele. Ngimuzwa ethwitha sakukhononda. "Hhhlll...owu...owu!" Ngigqoke ibhulukwe lodwa nginikele emnyango. Nginele ngivule bathi. "Gulukudu!"
Badakiwe onkabi. "Awu gazi sewufile ingquza." esho umzala engifakela amahloni. "Awu mzala limi luni lolu olukhulumayo?" ngibuza. "Awu mzala ingathi sikushiye nalo isikhathi esingaka! Ingabe zakhala kanye kwasa ubungaliyeka." Lapho ibhulukwe lami licokeme umthondo ulokhu uphume iqhubu.
"Awubheke phela Thoko." kusho okunguHlengi kungibamba umthondo oqhanyelwe. "Uyangilimaza." ngizwa engephula kabuhlungu. Avele avule uziphu webhulukwe lami. Uphume uqhashe uqonde thwi nakhu angifake na'underwear.'
Awuvule awuvale bese engidlalisa ijwabu ngeminwe. Ngibubule, "Eee..." Aqoshame ahlehlise sonke isikhumba esemboze ipipi, awuxhume emlonyeni. "Usuphezu kwepipi njalo ntombazane?" kusho umzala ebukela. "Awu uwuphethe umthondo mntaka malume, ingathi imbongolo." Lapho uHlengi usewumunya wonke aze apaqake izihlathi.

"Naze nazifebe wemantombazane! Seniwudelile lapho nisuka khona nizobangisa mina ngapha." Kusho uThandi ephuma ekamelweni eza ekhishini lapho esengimunywa khona umpipi."Wu kahle, ungahlala nendoda ikunika ubusuku bonke ungayideli?" kuphendula umzala. "Ningidayisile njalo ma'e'" sekusho uThandi senibuya niyangephuca futhi."

Aphendule umzala,"Ungcono nawe odayisiwe thina asitholanga lutho." Bakhuluma njalo uyangincela 'serious' uHlengi. "Mmm...mmm!" ngibubula. "Manje nibona ukuthi sekufanele niphuce mina?" kubuza uThandi ngokudinwa.

"Awu suka wena! Awukwazi yini ukuzichamisa ngomunwe? Woza la!" Asho ambambe uThandi umzala. Afake isandla ngaphansi kwe'nightie' kaThandi. "Eyi kodwa lesisifebe sentombazane, ungenzani nje kodwa?" kubuza uThandi. Ngimuzwe sengathi uphefumulela phezulu. Ngiyibone kahle iminwe kamzala iphuma ingena engquza kaThandi.
"Awu kodwa Thoko...mmm.!" Ngikhungatheke nami ilemikhuba engiyibona ku 2 room wami. "Ingabe umzala uyi'lesbian'yini? Nakhu edlalisa enye intombazane ngeminwe engquza ngaloluhlobo."ngizibuza ngiziphendula. "Asiye ekamelweni." kusho umzala kuThandi. Kuvele kusuke uHlengi kuqala ayeke ukumunya umthondo angidonsele ekamelweni.

Ekamelweni vele singene sesiphangisana. UThandi afinyelele kuqala embhedeni. Afike alale abheke phezulu alithi qheke igolo. UHlengi aqhaqhe uziphu we 'jean' yakhe ayihulule ngokukhulu ukushesha. Umzala ngimbone evula uziphu we'handbag 'yakhe. Ngithi ngisakhungathekile akhiphe uholokoqo lwe'vibrator' efana nse nomthondo. Ama'battery awafake ngokukhulu ukushesha, ngiyizwe isiduma.

"Uyisifebe wentombazane!Uze uthenge ipipi lokuthengwa ngokuthanda nje umthondo!" Athi eligwinya ibe isiduma kuwo umdidi Wakhe. UHlengi akhiphe iphenti. Ayisekho indawo esizohlabana kuyo ngoba embhedeni sekuqhekeze uThandi ingquza.

Avele abambe ngezansi kombhede angifulathele. "Nali" esho engidunusele. Ngiwuphose phakathi umthondo egolo. Ahlehle naye ngezinqe uthi bushe umthondo egolo. Ngimfuqe ngepipi, angifuqe ngengquza. Sibhebhane impela.
"Tttrrr...tttrrrrr..." kukhale ... ...i'vibrator' endunu kaThandi. "Oh yeeesss..." kwenanela uThandi. Nami ngilifuqe ipipi ngapha ngibhebha uHlengi. Naye akazibekile phansi. Uze sengathi uyahlehla ngezinqe, nami ngiwushiqele wonke.

"Ooh boy nakho-ke,kumnandi baba. "Ngiwushaye ngingawudlalisi umthondo futhi ngingadlali ngegolo.
"Trrr...trrr...." ngimbone kahle umzala eyizungezisa i'vibrator' igudla izindonga zegolo. Nami ngenze njalo ngomthondo. Ngiwuzungezise umthondo ugudle izindonga zegolo, ngiqale enhla ngasendunu ngiwushaya wonke. Ngihambe kuhle okwewashi. UHlengi ungikhulumela izilimi. "Sh...!sshh...!oooo...!ttr drr...aaawuuu....!"

Ngiwubhuxeke okwangempela ngilizungeza igolo. Ngithi uma sengiyofika ezansi ngasemsunwini ngithi ukugoba amadolo nginamathele kuwo umsunu. Ashintshe amagiya uHlengi kube izilimi zodwa. "Oooooh...!Hhoooo....wwwuuuuu....dddrrrr...!"

Ngapha umzala uyazenzela nge'vibrator' kuThandi uyaklewula uThandi kuhle komdlwane omncane. "Wwwiiii...weeee...oh you bitch...!" Ibelesele i'vibrator'."Ttrr...ttrrr"

Kwenzeka konke lokhu nje umzala uguqile ngamadolo embhedeni ufulathele uHlengi. Ugqoke isigqebhe esesikhuphukile saveza i'bikini' ayigqokile.

UHlengi afake isandla ngemuva kumzala njengoba ngimudla nje. Ayidonse sakuyinweba le'bikini. Bese kuba sengathi uyayiyeka, abuye ayidonse. Ayifake emseleni wengquza. Alihhudle njalo liye phambili nasemuva emseleni wengquza.

Asuke lapho afake iminwe emibili engquza kamzala."Oh you bitch!" kwenanela umzala. Ayidlokodle uHlengi ingquza kamzala. Fuxe! Fuxe ngeminwe ngemuva.

Trrr...!Ilokhu ishilo i'vibrator'. Sekubhoke imisindo yababhejwayo lapha endlini. UThandi uyanswininiza ngapha. Umzala i'vibrator' useke ayibeke emsunwini kuphela, abuye ayigoqoze endunu.

UHlengi sengimfenda ngokukhulu ukushesha. Uma ngimsheshisa naye uyayisheshisa iminwe engquza kamzala. Wenza engikwenzayo. Uma ngiyizungeza ingquza ngomthondo naye igolo likamzala uyalizungeza,nomzala azungeze umdidi kaThandi nge'vibrator'. Ngithi 'msunu' zonke zithi 'msunu' ngeminwe nange'vibrator'. Lapho onke amantombazane asekhala into eyodwa.
'Yuuuuuuuuuuuu....!" Omude u yu lona.Lapho mina vele ngithi, "Hhhaaaaaa...." Ngiwushaye ngisheshe wonke asheshe. UThandi ubelesele, "Ooooh you sfebe! Oooh you sfebe!" Umzala, "Oooh fuck me harder bitch! Fuck me harder bitch!" UHlengi, "Limnandi ipipi! Limnandi ipipi... awu we limnandi ipipi...!" Mina lapho, "Nginike yonke ingquza... oh baby nginike lonke ngilichamele."

Agqibuke uThandi kunyakaze umbhede wonke useyachama akhale kuvaleke amadlebe. Ngizwe ingquza ka'Hlengi inciphana iwuthi ngqi umthondo. Akhale kakhulu. "Weeee ngiyachaaaaaamaaaaa...!" Ngithi ngiyamphuthuma ngifuna ukumchamela egolo ngiyizwe ithamba ingquza yakhe, nomzimba wakhe uthambe.

"Oh shit! Zangishiya lezizifebe!" kukhononda umzala. Ngiwuthi'mboncu'umthondo egolo likaHlengi. Avele awe alale athi ja ku'floor'edakwe umthondo. Umthondo wami uqonde uthi thwi nami sengihefuzela ngijulukile nomthondo umanzi. Umzala asale engidunusele.

Uyaqhaqhazela umzala, nami ngiyahefuzela. Ahlehle ngendunu eze kimina."Ngichamise mntaka malume... ngichamise gazi lami vele bese ngizochama. Nali igolo mntaka malume ungangiphoxi." Asho ahlehlele kuwo ngqo umthondo i'bikini' eseyishenxise eceleni kusele imbobo yengquza. Umthondo wami uvele uziqondele egolo lomntaka anti.

Umzala impela lona u anti nobaba bayelamana. Awu ukhale phakathi umthondo. Ahlehle umzala afende ngayo yonke indlela. Asisazenzi. Sifende sisheshisane. "Awu mntaka anti! Awu mntaka malume!" Sesiyakhala.

Ngiyizwe ibopha ingquza kamzala inciphana ibancane. Adazuluke akhale umzala, "Aaaaawwuu mntaka malume...nakho ke...sengiyachaaaaamaa...!" Aqhaqhazele umzala esho kudabuka indlu. Ngizwe kushisa ngifende mashinyane. "Awu mntaka anti...awu mntaka anti...aaaawwwuuuuu.....!" Isidoda siphume njengenhlamvu. Ngiyimanzise ingquza kamzala. Ngisishaye sigcwale igolo likamzala. Sinkonkoshelane nomzala kube zibhodongo.