The Lucky old Dude....

It was the mailman's last day on the job after 35 years of carrying the
mail through all kinds of weather to the same neighborhood.

When he arrived at the first house on his route he was greeted by the
whole family, who congratulated him and sent him on his way with
a big gift certificate envelope.

At the second house they presented him with a box of fine imported cigars.

The folks at the third house handed him a selection of terrific fishing
lures.

At each of the houses along his route, he was met with congratulations,
farewells, cards, and gifts of all types and values.

At the final house he was met at the door by a strikingly beautiful young
blonde in a revealing negligee.
She took him by the hand, gently led him through the door (which she
closed behind him), and led him up the stairs to the bedroom -- where they
had a most passionate liaison
afterwards, they went downstairs where she fixed him a giant breakfast:
eggs, potatoes, ham, sausage, blueberry waffles, and fresh-squeezed orange
juice.
When he was truly satisfied she poured him a cup of steaming coffee.
As she was pouring, he noticed a dollar bill sticking out from under the
cup's bottom edge.
“..All this was just too wonderful for words”, he said,”.......but what's
the dollar for?”

“Well”, she said, “last night, I told my husband that today would be your
last day ...and that we should do
Something special for you I asked him what to give you?”
He said, "....F#%K him ........give him a dollar."
She then blushed and added, “.....But the breakfast was my idea!”

Author: A worried married man osebashayile abantu...

I’M LOSING HOPE BAFWETHU!!!!

Hayi bafwethu ngeke, uthi kodwa kusahamba kahle uma kunje or must I say angboni ikhona into ezolunga in future uma kunje, or must I ask: basekhona oMama bakusasa?

Hey bafethwu, azibhejwa kanje izintombi zabantu la emnyango kuyabukiswa and it’s not even funny anymore.

Don’t get me wrong gents I am not here to clean the world, I go with the flow and you can categorise me kubantu abagangile, but recently I have been just hit by a thought yokuthi if abantu belahla kangaka…what about owakho?...or are you that type of guy who consoles himself ukuthi "it will never happen to me" or do you say "mina owami ngiyamthemba" or "owami ngamthola eyi virgin" akana exboyfriend, come on guys wake up and smell the coffee.

Mina ngididekile manje, even married women balahla like hell, they don’t even care anymore and believe me I’m talking from experience..baphelile abafazi babantu ema office especially kwa hulumeni, umfazi ufika esesula umlomo ntambama kuwena..what about owakho? (Scary)…I’m sure uyazibuza ukuthi what triggered me to write such, it’s because every weekend I see amantombazane azimisele ngokubhejwa and kuphele kanjalo..mind you..we refer to them as izigebengu, amakati,etc,…and kwamanye amajita ango Madam!!!

You find out ukuthi ulova uzolanda I cherry yakhe ntambama espani, wena kade u busy uyibhuxeka e-office, uyishayisa I doggy style or in some case uhambisa I sgebengu sakho early in the morning and usuzwa ngabantu ukuthi lomuntu uyalotsholwa…how cruel. Asikho isegebengu engake ngasibhebha esingenayo indoda e-straight, and labantu once bezwa ukuthi ushadile bavele baqhanyelwe more. Kodwa akekho o safe, married or not liyaqhuma isende, if I can count abantu esengibashayile since I got married…it’s not even funny.

Abantu abashadile once baba nezinkingana ezincane they revert back to their ex-boyfriends and tell them ngezinkinga zomshado bagcine bebhebhekile…what about owakho? Have you ever thought ukuthi njengoba ukwazi ukudla I ex yakho, owakho akadliwa yini I ex yakhe, if ungakucabangi lokho qala uvule amehlo. Ave kulula ukudla umuntu oseke wamudla before..ubala..uhlangana nomuntu owamgcina eTech kudala akunike I number, the rest is history. I feel sorry for umjita osothandweni nomuntu onengane nomunye ulova…ngoba uma wengane uyohlezi ebhejwa ubaba wengane noma bangaxabana kanjani..there will be always a soft spot.

Believe me, 80% of ladies reading this article are feeling guilty!!!! But what the heck…into engekho right imnandi. The time you are pointing a finger saying ngake ngamudla umuntu waleya bhari emine ibheke ngakuwena. One thing I have noticed recently, labosisi abanemali bama tender baphelile yi pipi, so if your girlfriend or wife is extremely successful kuma tender, bru believe me 99.5% bayamhlephula koMaspala (kodwa ke nawe uya benefiter) and or umngani wakho othize o powerfull uyamgingqa…..what about owakho?

Uke uthi uhleli nomuntu e roomin uqeda kumenza njalo kukhale icingo lakhe and she will request you to keep quite bese etshela I out yakhe ukuthi "ungabe useza ngisembhedeni already sengilele" kanti uyamxhopha....do you think wena akukaze kukwenzeke lokho kuwena (you must be a perfect somebody). Sometimes uthi ungena nje emcimbini sekukhona ofuna ukuthi uma sekuhanjwa ucela umu packager…(what the hell) intombi yomuntu njalo leyo!!! Hayi bafethu mina angisazi.

Angisaphathike kwilegenge ye long distance relationship, ababhejwa kanje abantu babantu emaflethini nasemiqashweni..uma wena ukwazi ukudla umuntu ohlala yedwa ngoba indoda yakhe ikude naye..owakho bayamyeka yini la eqashe khona ehlala yedwa, kanti yena akaqhanyelwa yini? Ngike ngasebenza makujana nami I know ukuthi izintombi nabafazi babantu benzani when away from their loved ones, bavele babe homesick, kuqhume isende.

Maybe umuntu usebhebhe kakhulu abantu babantu unintentionally and now someone has grown and you need to think outside the box and think this happening towards you. I once fucked a married woman and instead of me being excited I was so devastated by the whole ordeal. It’s time to ask yourself…what about owakho?